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Help! My boss thinks I have a crush on him. How do I deal with this situation?

Tagged as: Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2016)
A female Andorra age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Help! My boss thinks I have a crush/ i'm in love with him.

I've been working with this guy for a little over a year, he's quite reserved and a bit shy with other people, he can be even rude sometimes, but with our team he's quite funny and niceish.

He's neither ugly nor handsome but I wouldn't date him because we're too different. I really like this person as friend though. Besides being my boss we became friendly with each other. We joke a lot and flirted a little, like sometimes we've been talking and laughing and making so much eye contact I wondered, are we flirting?

Anyways, the point is, because we're kind of friendly and the hierarchy that exists is overlooked by us we have taken some liberties, like calling each other by nicknames, exchanging messages on the phone during the night, we talk a lot about non-related work stuff, I sit on his table, open his drawers, touch this person whilst I speak... I treat him more like a friend than a boss and I know I'm in the wrong, but familiarity breads intimacy and now he thinks i'm into him ( he's made himself clear that he thinks of me as a little sister, he always says that he appreciates my caring for him, he's always making sure to put me in the friend zone).

To be honest many people fear him in our office and the fact that he has let his guard down we became good pals, he being so reserved and all, earning his friendship was a bit of a prize... but now I'm sure he thinks I'm in love with him.

Today I teased him ( I love teasing him and we talk a lot in double entendre, I just am very playful like that, not only with him) when he got a message I said something like, oh go check the messages your women send you, he said, oh no need to be jealous.

Another time I I asked for a favor and he asked me if I think that i'm special in a playful manner and I said that no i don't he said he'd do what i asked, but he would do the same for my other colleague, on leap year I told a friend in front of him ,oh well today the woman can propose to a man, he said jokingly oh the answer is no like as if I were asking him.

Today I asked for another favor and he said NO, straight like that I joked by the end of the day that he was being too mean to me.

In fact he denied me something TWICE today, like he's trying to show me that i'm not special instead he did something to show favour to my other college, as to stress that i'm not that special to him and i'm totally cool with that ( really! I'm not using him to get things easier for me. I did not want to become friends to ask for things) but because i really like this person like a dear friend , i have zero interest in him sexually, but he has taken it upon himself to "let me down gently" or whatever...

Now I don't know what to do. We are on the same page, I have thought of saying straight, look i don't have a crush on you, but i'm afraid things may become awkward between us and i really don't want that. THANK you for reading it, any help is appreciated!

View related questions: crush, flirt, jealous, my boss, shy, teasing

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntTone down the flirting, joking around and asking for favors.

Act professional and do your job, he will soon figure out that you are not crushing on him (If that is what you want him to think).

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (31 March 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntTell him straight that you are not interested in more than friendship, tell him that naturally you are a flirty person but you will try and cool it down as you did not mean to give the wrong impression and leave it at that.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (31 March 2016):

Denizen agony auntWhy don't you just stay away from the poor guy as much as possible. Keep your conversations cool and professional - and stop with the flirting for heavens sake. He will soon get the message. You aren't a teenager. You know how to put a man off.

So stop playing around. You say you are on the same page but you are not.

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