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Help me to understand my girlfriend and how to get her back

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *onfused les writes:

Hi, I have been in my first ever lesbian relationship for 3 months, everything was perfect apart from the fact that one of my mates has liked me a lot. I told her nothing would happen with her, but I didn't realize how much she liked me, so I naively met up as a mate not seeing the problem. My girlfriend knew about this girl but it has caused me and my girlfriend to split, as she says I was taking on two women at once. And she says I cheated even though I didn't physically do anything.

I broke her heart and crashed her soul, I can see how it looked, but no matter what I say or do she doesn't believe how i feel about her, and she cant believe that I didn't know what i was doing. I tried to say that I reversed it and can see how it looks so bad, her response was I reversed it after I got caught. I don't know what else to do she is all I want and if I can't be with her I don't want to be with anyone else. She wants to be friends, I can do that but I love her and I would understand if I had actually done something wrong, but it just feels like this is insecurities that have been blown out of proportion. I know she loves me as she got emotional as she was talking to me, which doesn't sound much but she is the strongest and most independent woman I have ever met, so to see her like that I know she loves me and I know I broke her heart and she is seriously hurting so please help,

I just want to add that I get where she is coming from, and I wish I could of seen what was happening but I saw this other girl as a mate as I have known since before I met my girlfriend, also since this I have seen the real side to this girl as I told her again that nothing would ever happen even if we were both single, so now I have blocked this girls calls, texts and Facebook, and I have told my girlfriend this, and I hope it shows that I am serious when I say that I only want her and no-one else

View related questions: facebook, lesbian, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011):

She definitely is hurting at the moment. It's probably best to give her space to calm down and then try contact her again and explain the situation.

You said you had been told by this friend before how she felt for you? It wouldnt happen to be by text message or email at all? I was going to suggest finding the physical evidence to show your ex and help her understand it was a misunderstanding between you and your mate and nothing ever happened.

If you dont have evidence, then im sorry but theres not much else you can do besides wait until she calms down then try explaining what happened again.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (23 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntShe is hurting at the moment so I would give her some time and space. It sounds to me like she is a very insecure person though who didn't trust you to begin with. If she fully trusted you then she would not have finished this relationship over the fact that you only met up with this girl and that you actually never done anything wrong. Explain to her that you cannot just be friends with her because it will hurt to much, tell her you are going to give her some space to think about things and that you will be waiting for her if she wants to give things another go. If not then I guess you just need to see that it was not meant to be.

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