A
female
age
36-40,
*ams09
writes:My ex and i were together off and on a total of 3 and a half years. When we got back together it was because we had been spending so much time together and both knew we still loved each other. We confessed to each other that being apart felt wrong. Well two weeks into being back together, I can't get ahold of him. I finally do and he tells me that after one night of serious thinking he's realized that he's fallen out of love with me and being with me doesn't feel right. That was over two months ago and a few days after our breakup he started talking to someone else. This was someone he'd already known from high school and had gotten back in touch with. He's not a cheater so I trust him when he says he didn't. She broke up with him after a week, but they still continue to "talk" and hang out and have even had sex even though she claims to have been a virgin and never been in a relationship. I dont believe a girl who posts slutty pics of herself half naked in her underwear and posts them all over her myspace is really a virgin. not looking the way she does. Myself and other people who know the situation can spot her as a user from a mile away. But he's totally into her, and it blind to the signs that she's just using him. Now I may be young, but I don't need tests or advice telling me he's the one. I already know. But his actions are so contradictory. He asks about my life and family, if I'm dating anyone else, if I've slept with anyone else, and even talks about sex with me. He defends this girls honor as hard as he can, but is still so open with me even though he said he doesn't love me, and even calls late at night and asks why I haven't called or texted. He exhibits signs that he still loves me but I cant tell whether or not he still has feelings or if he's just being friendly in his own way. I'm trying to interpret the mixed signals but I can't make heads or tails of it. Can someone help?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 February 2010):
He isn't the one. That's the problem. You're deluding yourself. You're saying that a man who has split with you once, got back together then dumped you for another girl he got back into contact with, is the one. He's just not. That's not love in the slightest. This is about you chasing after a guy who just isn't into you at all. Take it from another man that this guy is not the one. You're chasing after something that won't ever work out.
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