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Help me-i love my female teacher!

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 October 2007) 40 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi

i'm 15. a new teacher came to my school. i fell absoloutley madly in love with her, i can never stop thinking about her. it's killing me. i love her more than i've loved anybody. i don't know whether to keep it to myself, or tell her. if i tell her it may ruin the relationship we already have, if i dont she will never know how strongly i feel about her. She's double my age and has a son, who i babysit for once a week. She has left our school but i continue to see her. should i tell her and risk alienating her, or keep it tom myself and have to live with it forever? This is making me so depressed, my legs shake when i see her, my palms get sweaty..i love her! This obviously also means that i am confused, i dont know if i'm bi, straight or gay, but i know i fancy other women too. please help me

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011):

I wouldn't exactly tell her how you feel because as an "older" woman (26 years old) I feel weird when even 18-19 year old guys and girls hit on me. I totally know where your comming from because I've gone through it too. My math teacher at about that age was the most beautiful intelegent woman I had ever seen and she could always make me smile even when I was on the brink of self ruin. Hold on to the happiness she brings you but don't make the relationship weird. Good luck.

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A female reader, D58 United States +, writes (16 May 2011):

I love my history teacher a little bit too much. I am always nervous around her. To be honest, she intimidates me. I don't know if I want attention or if i really hate her. But i am confused as well. I don't know. I am 15 also. I never felt like this with any other person. But I look forward to the days that i have class with her. Soo... yeah

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A female reader, Raven xoxo United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2011):

hey everyone,

i really want to share my story...

a few years ago, i moved schools and met a really awesome teacher. i fell in love with her pretty much straight away.

About a year later i told her how i felt. we were extremely close beforehand... in fact she was one of my closest friends. since i told her, several other events have taken place and our friendship has been ruined.

we now have a very professional relationship (but she still means the world to me).

the reason Im posting this is because i know what its like to love someone you shouldn't...

but i also know firsthand what the consequences are.

for example, she isn't allowed to teach me anymore. what Im trying to say is if you really want to tell her., tell her, but be careful. good luck! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011):

wow! i never thought i'd find a person with the same problem i have, when i was 12 she was my teacher, i used to have problems with her, but then i realized how sweet she was, idk how i got sooo brave to ask for her phone number, she gave it to me then i started texting her.

2 years passed now, and i'm still with her tho she does't teach me anymore.

i get hugs alot from her for no reason, like when she sees me comming she opens her arms. plus i hold her hands all the time but i want more.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011):

I feel the same way I'm in love with two of my teachers both female it makes me sick when I don't get to see them. Here's the funny part the two teacher are best friends weird right. One of my teachers now everything about me. I even have her cell phone number. I cant get over her or the other teacher

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011):

Hi, i'm kinda in the same position...

I am not sure if i am in love with my teacher, but i cant stop thinking about her. i dont imagine kissing her or anything but i want her to be my best friend, i talk to her about everything and she listens...im 14 and she is 30 but looks about 25. i dont know what to do. i just needed to tell someone, and i know that everyone here is in the same position! Thanks xxx

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A female reader, Noboby Ireland +, writes (6 February 2011):

hi!...cnt believe how many people feel the same way like me!..well nearly...heres my story (just want it all out:D)

im 14...2nd year...the teacher i like is like 10 years older than me....i think she has a boyfriend...we have the same birthday...live on the same state...she is beautiful smart funny ...evrything u cud ask for...i never imagined kissing her though!...do u think its just strong idolisation or a crush? i think im a bisexual...nyway i dnt like her being with another students let alone a boyfriend...so right now im heartbroken!...we shared some talks because she was on a field trip with me nd my friends...i guess thats wer it all started!..sumtyms i dnt want to like her because its too painful....i know that i shudnt tell her because i might be wrong anout liking her...

gladly i found this website...i let it all out!..

xxxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011):

Hi guys.

I'm sure what I'm about to say will be a help to a majority of you :)

I fell in love with my teacher when I was 12 (shocking, right?) I'm 16 now. She's 26. It was an instant connection and it only took a month or so for me to fall in love with her. She was my teacher for 2 subjects so I got to spend almost 2 hours everyday with her. I can tell you that those 2 hours were the best hours of every single day. She knew I liked her (as a friend) and would always say hi and give me friendly pushes when I saw her around school. The next year I found out she wasnt going to be my teacher anymore. I was distraught but then I realized, just because she wasn't me teacher doesn't mean I can't talk to her. After summer break we went back to school. When I saw her I immediately went and talked to her . I complained that she wasnt my teacher and she said she missed me (oh how I'd love to hear her say those words again) anyway another year went by and we don't talk anymore. I thought she'd forgotten my name but then we had a chat 6 or so months ago and she didn't :). Now at the end of this 2010 it was different, because this time she was leaving school. I have honestly never felt so heartbroken, I didn't even think it was possible to feel like that. I'm a generally happy person and to feel depressed was an understatement. I started confiding in people I meet online with similar stories, it's a really good way to let out your emotions.

Anyway; what I suggest is defiantly don't tell her! Just appreciate every single second you spend with her and prepare yourself for the time you'll leave. Make sure you talk as much as possible to her.

Also, I really don't think people should consider themselves 'bi, lesbian' etc, because in the end we fall in love with anyone who we connect with, regardless of a penis and vagina!

Good luck guys xx

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A female reader, roxie10xoxo United States +, writes (10 December 2010):

OMG I've had this feeling about my English professor since the first day i saw her! She's like 60!!! I'm about to be 20 (i'm a girl and lesbian). I want to tell her so bad! My godmother tells me to tell her on the day of finals but i'm a coward to be shut down in my face. I'm going to try to email her...if my coward-ness doesn't kill me first!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009):

ok im 14 year old female and i love my english teacher but shes a girl and 26 but i cant stop thinking about her looking at her fanticiesing about her i cant concentrate when im in class i keep daydreaming about her and im failing some of my tests i want to get smarter so she can complament me on something just even to notice me i talked to her about some problems with boys before and metioned something about a girl and she helped me .................................. i love her i think i should go talk to her to let her now but i dont now if i should i love her so much shes just gorgeus id usally ask my mam or the teacher id like for help nut i cant i need help from someone how is going true the same thing to tell me wath they done please please help me cause i cant live with out her x seriously

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):

omg! i am in the very same situation. i love my history techer. she is so kind and caring and she is so beautiful. she has such a great body, great legs, great ass (she's about 23 and i'm 14). i have never felt like this about a woman before and i have had a boyfriend and i have liked tons of guys but never as much as i feel about her. she makes me feel on top of the world when shes happy with me. but if she isn't i feel so depressed and sorry. i spend every waking moment thinking about her. i have even had some sexual fantasies about her. i look forward to every class with her and if she isn't there i feel heartbroken. on some days, i come to school just to see her. but i think she might be on to me - one time she was wearing really tight pants and i just couldn't help but to look at her bum, and just as i did she turned around. she saw me and smiled. my face went completly red. i really love her but i would never act on my fantasies- i love her too much to do that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009):

ah finally, i have found people like me!

it was my first time having this teacher last year, and she didnt like me very much and we never used to get along, but this year it is different. i feel like i can talk to her like she is one of my friends. i blush everytime im around her. I've also started to notice that she smiles everytime i talk to her and when she calls my name there is a held back silence before she continues.

xoxo

gossip girl

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

Hiya, i feel the same way :( Its horrible. im feeling horrible at the momoment. she can be horrible to me sometimes which makes me really depressed, then other days she's really nice to me! i hate how i feel. i always think about her, wishing i was kissing her. im confused! i hate all this. it kills me knowing that when i leave school im never going to see her again :( what shall i do :( im gonna be broken, there will be no point me livigin !!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

Hiya, i feel the same way :( Its horrible. im feeling horrible at the momoment. she can be horrible to me sometimes which makes me really depressed, then other days she's really nice to me! i hate how i feel. i always think about her, wishing i was kissing her. im confused! i hate all this. it kills me knowing that when i leave school im never going to see her again :( what shall i do :( im gonna be broken, there will be no point me livigin !!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008):

Hi there, I finally found that I was not the only person feeling like this!

Okay Im in my last year of school (only few months left) and I feel incredibley in love with this teacher (female). She's like the best teacher in the world, I feel really shaky and hot (temperature) when she is around..I really wish I could tell this to somone but I cant I feel embaressed..I dont think im a bi or les..its just she's different...special...funny..preety, and all is going to be lost in a few months..I wont be able to keep contact with her..anyway thats my story (well its more complicated but i ran out of words)

So now to your story...since its exactly like mine, if i were you i wont tell her anything! Good Luck!!

xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008):

I know how everyone feels.

Ive just began to like one of my teachers alot.

She is all I can think about.

I dont think she is bi or anything.

I just live her.

I wish she would put her arms around me and hug me forever.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008):

Thank God I've finally found people who have the same problem as me!

I met my science teacher in September and since then I've been in love with her. She's funny, kind and beautiful. i think about her all the time. i wonder how she is and what she's doing. in class if she ever speaks to me i blush ang do something really silly or clumsy. then, half a year ago i found out that she was engaged. my world fell apart. then two months ago she married. i still love her but have realised to respect her wishes and current life: she's in a relationship and is happy. i should be happy for her. sometimes it hurts if i hear her discuss her husband but i know that realistically it could never work and i keep my distance.

for anyone in the same position, stay strong. don't tell her how you feel... don't jeopardise the relationship you already have.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008):

I'm gonna tell her. On the last day of school.

And until then, just enjoy what I have. Which isn't alot unfortunately...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008):

i know the position you are in because im in it too but i would never dream of acting on my feelings because i care about myteacher too much to do so

the teacher i like is beautiful kind and very understanding. shes incredicly easy to talk to and infact recently, ive been going hrough a tough time and she came up to me and asked what was wrong because she could just tell something was up. i just completely broke down in front of her and i cried my eyes out for an hour. she just wrapped her arms around me and told me evrything i wanted and needed to hear.

she told me i was beautiful and shes lucky to have me as a friend because im an amazing girl

it meant a lot and when i left she blew me a kiss and told me not to worry. i dont think shes flirting, shes just like that .. and its not that i want antying to happen between us, i just want her to hug me again and to be my best mate if you get me, theres no doubt that i like her because i do but im not in love and i would never act on my feelings.

its best to keep it a secret

i know its hard, trust i know but its for hte best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

I'm a lesbian, I was in love with a teacher once, she was more double my age and had a daughter. This teacher and I were really close but i think i ruined our relationship by telling her my feelings, but i felt she had a right to know, she used to always help me and hug me and stuff lol. Really, nothing can happen between you two, well it can, but yeah haha. if you're still at school then it wouldnt be right and if you think about it if your "realtionship" gets published then really you have ruined her life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

don't tell her, as hard as it is. its better that way because you can still be really good friends whereas if you tell her and it doens't go down well then she might end up being uncomfrotable around you or not willing to see you etc, which in the end will hurt alot more.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

Person who wrote on the 23rd of February? No we don't go to the same school. Hopefully :S

This teacher has been at my school for a while now. And since I wrote last time, my feelings have become worse. I've been on LOADS of problem page sites, and they all tell me that its normal to be attracted to someone who is superior to you in your teens. But its not love...

My palms sweat. My heart races. I feel physically sick. I go red when she asks me to read. I get really hot around her (as in temperature). And every waking moment, I'm thinking about when I will see her next, or planning how I can make an excuse to see her.

You tell me that that isn't love. And I'm not going to stop and let her go on without knowing. When I come to the end of my final days of school, I will tell her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

you arent alone at all. my french teacher is so beautiful, kind and amazing in every way. im in love with her, theres not question about it. i smile when i see her and make up any excuse i can to talk to her. its parents evening soon and i cant wait. its a stupid thing to get excited over but whatver.

we are already friends like she'll come and watch me if im performing something or whatver and ill do the same for her. shes helped me with problems and everything. im attracted to her and i fantisize about her all the time. i think she likes me but not in the way i like her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008):

hi,

i know how you feel. try not to get your feelings to high for the teacher. just act normal round her try to act calm when you see him/her. thats what i do and it mostly works.

can someone help my as im seeing my teacher after school and im freakinng out as i love her so much.!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

two of them

this is bad

i love one more than the other

but the other is hot and i see her more

im properly in love with the first one though

i wish she would just hold me

i love her

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

OMG :0 The person that posted on the 15th of February :S:S I'm in EXACTLY the same position as you!! :S My parents evening is also soon... and I also have a 5 minute appointment... okay this is soo weird, but I get the feeling we go to the same school?? We probably don't... but from what you've said... lol this is very strange...

Did this teacher join last September??

Probably not the same person lol but just out of interest :S

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

oh my days i know exactly how you feel (below). but its my history teacher. im not a lesbian or bi either but im attracted to her. i cant tell her because of the reasons you said but all i can do is think about her. i have dreams about her as well ! shes so beautiful but when i leave / or she leaves, im just going to say thanks for everything shes done for me and hope in the least she might hug me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008):

I know how you feel. I've fallen for my female RE teacher, and I'm not a lesbian or a bi. I don't know whether I love her more because she's something I can't have or whether I just do! Its parents evening soon and I've planned an entire outfit just for a 5 minute appointment. It doesn't distract me from my lesson with her, its just that, every time I look at her, all I think of is kissing her. And I can't act on my feelings because I could risk her job and her reputation as well as mine. I don't want to wreck what we already have. I just don't know how to get over it. But in a way I don't want to...

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A female reader, Lily282 United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2008):

Poor you. I know exactly how you feel. I have a teacher who I love more than anything in the world and I feel so dizzy around her. I never ever stop thinkiong about her and sometimes it makes me so depressed and I go into a world of my own. The hard thing is that no one else can understand around me and I cant tell them. At the end of the year I am going to give her a letter telling her how much I admire her but I would never tell her that I was obsessed with her even though I wish she knew. I hope to stay in contact with her and at least you havent had to give her up completely as she is still a friend. I know how hard it is and I really feel for you - I know exactly what you mean when you say I wish she would hug me and that you could be best mates, i always think like that. Try and think of something else no matter how difficult it may seem now, I have made myself ill in a way I could never have imagined and I would not want anyone else to have to suffer it! I hope you feel better and that soon your problem will go away like I hope mine does! x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008):

i had a conversation with her today. shes beautiful. if only she knew what she really meant to me. i love her but how the hell can i tell her that ?! i wish she would just hug me. i wish .. i wish we could be best mates or something. i really do love her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008):

you are so not alone. i love the history teacher at my school. she is so beautiful, clever and so kind. she is really easy to talk to and atm i just feel i want her attention more and more. i really do think im in love with her and its one of those uncontrollable feelings. we are already quite good mates and i know if i tell her it will ruin the relationship we already have but i cant help feeling the way i do about her. shes so beautiful.

tell her if you feel you can and it wont ruin the relationship you already have but if it will affect it then try and forget about her - thats what im gonna have to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008):

if you really are in love with her, you are going to have to tell her. be realistic, if its just a crush, its not worth telling her but if its love you have to tell her.

i know exactly how you are feeling. im in love with a teacher at my school. i just came back off a school trip when she was there and even though she doesnt teach me anymore, we get on quite well. she helped me when i had problems at home and now i just cant stop thinking about her. i know its stupid because i know nothing will happen but she is so beautiful and i honestly think i love her. i cant possibly tell her because i know it will ruin the relationship we have already. im going to have to give up on her even though it will kill me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

Oh, this is SO much like my situation. There's a french assistant at my school. She's amazing. Funny, friendly, AMAZINGLY beautiful, and she makes me feel so great and no-one else has been able to make me feel this way. I can't stop thinking about her. I dream about her at night and in school I day-dream about her. I rehearse conversations with her in my head so I can hear her voice again. I decided to make her a Christmas card, and buy her a golden necklace with a heart pendant on it. I'll give it to her in the lesson tomorrow (if she's there...).

I know I can't be in a relationship with her. But she's so incredible. C'est une catastrophe.

She came to see me at a gig 4 days ago. She made me smile every time I saw her, and she made me feel better than I had in over 2 years. And her smile can melt a radiator. I was behind the drum kit, playing away, and then she smiled at me, looking me right in the eyes and I lost all awareness of what I was doing and where I was. I'm only 14, and I don't know what to do. Should I give her the christmas present? She's only 20, and I've got a year and a half left at my school. She's going to teach at the shool across the road by the time I leave anyway.... I really am stuck, confused and every second I'm away from her my heart aches more than ever, and it's actually causing me physical problems.

I know how you feel, and I know how hard it is. I wish I could help but while in the same situation and not even knowing the solution is difficult. I'm sorry about your problem. Don't worry though. You're not alone.

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A female reader, hazeleyedgal United States +, writes (24 November 2007):

its weird how this is sooo close to how i feel. i love one of my teachers. shes pregnant. married. almost 40 (im 17). and is leaving the school at the end of the semester. I want to cry. I am really going to try and see her during winter break and such. just seeing her makes me smile. I am gay, and i dont think she is =(

*sigh* if it werent for these laws, I would say something. but now, I know if i did, it would just be awkward.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007):

i know how you feel! i am madly in love with my male teacher, and its killing me inside!! i long to be with him and every day in his class is torture. i and 15 & 1/2, and he is 25. hes the football coach, and he is so HOT! i love his personality, too, and i really want to be with him. but i know that i could never tell him, he would not approve! i think we just have to keep these things to ourselves!

~S

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007):

I think if its killing you that much you should tell her i was going through the same thing the thing was that i was in love with one of my good girlfriends by the way im a girl. So it was killing me too and i posted a question and i decided to tell she didnt tell me she felt the same so i really felt horrible but i think she said she was ok with it of course i felt so uncomfortable right away after i told her but everything is back to normal. By the way i have sort of gotten over her since she didnt give me any hope on having a chance with her i think thats what you need so you can move on and yes you might be bi if you are attracted to guys too.

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A female reader, JaffaZ Australia +, writes (16 October 2007):

JaffaZ agony auntWell, I think if it's making you that depressed, you should tell her. Be prepared for rejection though since a relationship is obviously not realistic, as you said. Even if you're scared, it may be good for you in the long run. Think of it as ripping off a band-aid that's been stuck for awhile - it'll hurt a lot at first, but then it'll get better till eventually it won't hurt at all. And at least you won't have to worry about it anymore.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007):

hi thanks for the answers. just though i should let you know that as far as i know, his woman is straight and hasnt told me otherwise. and i would never dream of a relationship with her because it's not realistic, it's just killing me that the one person i want to tell the most...i can't tell! i just wanted to let her know...

if anyone has any more help i'd like to hear from you

thanks

x

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A male reader, Tommy7 United States +, writes (15 October 2007):

At your age she cannot legally respond. You need to keep her as your friend and consider telling he more when you reach the age of 18.

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A male reader, thewiseman United States +, writes (15 October 2007):

thewiseman agony auntwell legally and morally speaking. it would be best to try and let it go. as stupid as that may sound. you just realistically speaking cannot have a realtionship with your teacher, especially when she is like 30. you could be bi sexual.

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