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Help, I'm In love with my stepbrother!!!

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2008)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

My Mom will be getting married to a very nice man in March of 09. This man has a son that is 14, I am 13 and I REALLY REALLY like him, maybe evan LOVE HIM! I have never felt this way about anyone in my life, I have had several crushes before but never one like this. I don't think its puppy love this time, I think its REAL, I just love him for him! I Don't get nervous when I talk to him or I'm around him I just feel so relaxed and happy to be with him. He does things somtimes, the other night while his brother was in the room laying on the floor, he and I laied across my bed together, close together. he would brush up againts my hand alot and I would catch him looking at me a bit, then he laid his head on my back and played with my hair and rubbed my head a bit. Then today lots of things happened! I was sitting on the couch and he came up from behind and gently put his hands around my face and said hey or somthing. Then when i was talking to him he put his forhead to mine for a few seconds and listened to me talk, he did that i think 3 times today. then while i was eating a candy bar today he came and sat on my lap and pulled my arms around him and he bit a peice of the candy bar off and kept my arms around him and talked to me. he would come dance up against me and do lots of other stuff like that, that just made me like him more. I think if he felt the same way our family would be ok with us dating because they always joke about us dating and stuff, and the living together thing would not be a problem because they are only here 2 days out of 14 so thats every other weekend. I REALLY like him but I'm afraid to tell anyone evan him because I don't want my heart broken and i don't want him to feel weird around me if he finds out...please help I'm Very confused and i don't know what to do!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008):

If you feel like you are really in love with your stepbrother, then I would go ahead and pursue it. He might be the love of your life, but if you don't pursue it, you will never know. Like the old saying goes, better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Since you do not have a common blood ancestor, having a relationship and sex with him would not be incest. So do what you feel is right. Please post back here to tell us what you decided to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

I've been in ur shoes I've had a fling with my step brother at first it was cool. We just always hung out n had a great time. We started actually falling for each other n decided to tell our parents n it caused problems. I suggest talkin with ur parents first when I hurt my dads feelings I let my step brother go. I haven't talked to him since he loved me but we hurt to many people. Talk to ur parents first

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008):

Lazy guy is right, because you and your stepbrother are so young, you must talk to your parents first before you make a move. What if everything goes wrong. What if you get together first and then breakup. Things can go so badly wrong. Talk to your parents, tell them exactly what you told us. Tell them how much you love him and ask them to help. Before you approach your stepbrother, you need your parents permission first. Remember if you love him, and it's true love, then you will be brave, and if they say no, then you can wait.

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A female reader, DEAD-0N Ireland +, writes (15 July 2008):

I think you should lean into him to kiss him and see what his reaction is.. if he attempts to kiss you back.. you should tell him how you really feel then see what he thinks about it and if he thinks the same then you should build a relationship with him.. then you can tell your parents & if not then you'll just have to leave him be & get on with life.. but whilst doing that nobody said your not allowed to flirt with him or tease him :P =]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008):

This is what you need to do.

Stop this romantic-cutesy stuff you have going on. Treat him like a guy friend that you don't want to lead on. Treat him like you don't like hime in a romantic way.

You might need to keep this up for months. Most likely your feelings are being brought on my being his attention to you. Probably he'll stop and you guys will be friends and you can put this behind you. But, if it's meant to be, which would be a real shame because it WOULD be frowned upon, it'll happen anyway. Let him go.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (15 July 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntYou asked this before didn't you?

I know that if the two of you were adults there wouldn't be a problem. In fact, if you two were married and then your parents married as well there wouldn't be an issue at all, it happens. Akward perhaps but not something the law cares about.

But in this case, your stepfather might become your legal guardian and that might complicate things. If that is the case perhaps your parents can skip this, so that no legal bond is formed between you and your stepbrother.

As embarrising at it might be, you really need to talk to your mother about this before things happen that can't be reversed.

You are very young and you might be confusing love of a new sibling (you don't have any brothers?) with romantic love, but who knows. Love happens in the strangest places.

Talk to your mother and find out if there is even going to be any problem. You might be worrying over nothing or something that can be easily fixed.

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A female reader, KiaGrace Canada +, writes (15 July 2008):

KiaGrace agony auntAlot of people say, "theirs nothing wrong with liking your step brother or sister, because there not blood"

But while you don't share the same DNA. It's called

"stepBROTHER" You may as well just date someone from your own blood. But hey, that's just my opinion.

I think it's really cute how you feel about him, and it sounds like he's probably into you too. But maybe you should really think about these feelings.. before acting on them at all.

Best of luck

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A male reader, Escalaya United States +, writes (15 July 2008):

Escalaya agony auntWell he is of no blood relation, but it could still be awkward.

I've never been sure of the laws regarding relationships with family that is not of any slight blood relation what-so-ever, but I'd assume it's as looked down upon as sex with a family member is.

I suggest talking to your parents about it before approaching the boy in question about it.

Best of luck.

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