A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My new bf has been wanting me to have sex with him, but im still not too sure that i want to. I dont no if it will hurt or if i will get caught by my parents but they are never there tho. I'm still a virgin and i don't no about how anything feels. we've been kissing and stuff and i no he's the one i want to lose my virgintiy to. plz help me!
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female
reader, hillbillyash +, writes (30 October 2009):
well for a start your abit young to be having sex,but in saying that if its going to happen its going to happen so.....
It will hurt a little bit as your not used to having sex but your body should perpare you for intercorse during foreplay,if you are going to have sex with him,make sure your 100% ready or you will not feel the real experance from it that makes you smile.do it somewhere safe and please please!! use a condom! not just so you dont get pregnant but theres STD's to think about weather he's had sex or not just to be on the extra safe side pluse it will get you into a good habbit ( IF he is not 'the one')as for the not wanting your parnets to find out about it,that its self should answer your own question,that you know deep inside yourself that now is not the right time to be having sex....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): You don't know how stuff feels. You are not sure you want it. It was not your idea, it was his.
Does this tell you anything? Your body and mind are telling you, you are not ready. Boys are typically hormone crazy and ready to jump anyone at that age. You are not a boy... so you're different as CG and others are trying to tell you.
One of the ways of being adult is to recognise what YOU want, not do what someone says because he wants it.
But hey, it's your funeral!
And you can't spell 'know' :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): I would advise you to make an appointment to see your doctor, if you have an understanding one, and see about getting on the pill (if you're really serious about going all the way, you may as well be prepared!)
If you decide to use a condom, get a package of non-latex, supersensitive ones, then buy a spermicidal foam and use that along with the condom (e.g. Delfen) That way you'll still have protection in case the condom breaks. Don't rely on a condom alone! :) If you're not comfortable with insertion, try using slender tampons when you have your period, and gradually increase to supers.
However, I would hope that you take your time and not be in a rush to lose that virginity-- it'll go soon enough! Get a copy of the Joy of Sex to read with the bf, explore with foreplay and oral sex (all the guys I've known loved that way better than intercourse). And buy a tube of lubricant such as K-Y-- it makes the first time so much more pleasant. :)
Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, Ravenxx91 +, writes (28 October 2009):
 TYbh i disagree with everything rhythmandblues2 said. Shes not trying to go against her parents shes scared and worried. This site is to get advice from not lectures from!
Anyway, well done for asking someone!
Ok, first of all i would suggest you tell him you wanna wait at least until your 16. Then after that, make it special! Go out to dinner or see a movie possibly? Or even watch films at home.
I would like to ask how long you have been with this guy, you need to be sure you want him to be the first one.
Ok so here goes the factual/experience advice. (And btw i was 16 when i love my virginity to my now Fiance and i was happy we took our time and waited because it made it special)
Ok so if you've seen a film with sex in and shes screaming from the rooftops and its going on forever just know it wont be like that - thats fictional, its movies.
If he is a virgin, it wont last long, but dont be worried about that.
Ok so my best suggestion is being lay down on a bed (preferbly) and basically take it slow. And i mean slow. It most likely will hurt, for me it was just a sharp and then dull sting then it faded out. If it hurts too much just tell your boyfriend to stop and wait, then carry on.. See it as easing in.
Sometimes, foreplay might help as well... (i didnt do any of that until later on) He could so this by using his fingers.
The main thing is to relax because if you dont you will be tense, he wont be able to get in and if he does it will definatly hurt.
As for your folks.. i cant really give any suggestion other then to wait until they are not there? (That's what we did - gottta love getting the shopping from asda on a saturday ;)..)
Anyway good luck, and please remember to get him to wear a condom PLEASE... x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Your only "take away" from all this advice is "I will use condoms don't worry".You really don't want to educate yourself about sex do you? The only thing you are really concerned about is how to go against your parents values and "not get caught by your parents."Why don't you give them some credit where credit is due, they both actually have been almost 16 before as well, and in the area of sexuality, nothing has really changed since they were your age, so they are not Uncool idiots trying to keep you from growing up or from having fun in life.You are making a big mistake by doing this without thinking it through. You say you aren't sure, then you are not ready and you know this is wrong for you.I know you will regret it later.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Thank you for your answers. i will use condoms don't worry. And Im going to be 16 in November.
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A
female
reader, RCK  +, writes (27 October 2009):
Goodness me your going to lose it someday and guess what? It's your choice on when you do decide to lose it but as you can see from these sexually experienced people who have commented on your page they have already been through what your thinking about doing with your boyfriend. The feeling is not at all like how you see in the movies. It may feel great or it may feel uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable about at all during the heat of the moment then don't do it. But if you decide to go through with it then be prepared that you and b/f are protected and have an understanding about STD/STI and the word NO or STOP.
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A
male
reader, robert2  +, writes (27 October 2009):
I am not a guy so I cannot tell you how it feels for a woman, but as a grown man, I can tell you this. WAIT!!!! you are way to young to be in a sexual relationship. You do not need to be in a rush to grow up and since you are not sure if you even want to that shows that you are not ready. If he is not willing to wiat then you dont need him. Best of luck to you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 October 2009):
I know I'm a male, but I can tell you a few things. First of all, in Britain, it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16. So you can't do it yet, unless you want to get into trouble should you be found out. Secondly, it really doesn't sound like you're ready yet, and you shouldn't let yourself be pressurized into anything you are not ready to do or don't feel comfortable with. It's important to feel happy and comfortable with someone before you do anything, and it's important you're ready. I think you'd be far better off getting to know this guy even more and really making sure that you know about sex, know what the consequences can be (such as pregnancy if you don't use protection), and really make sure that you're totally comfortable and ready to lose your virginty. And please wait until you're 16. Take as much time as you need. If your boyfriend objects, or tries to pressurize you, be wary of his intentions. All the best.
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A
female
reader, BreBreBby +, writes (27 October 2009):
okay well first i just lost my virginity to and im only 14. but im PREGNANT now so i think you should just wait until you know for sure your ready. and make sure your on birth control or hes wearing a CONDOM
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): We get about 20 questions a day from girls in your age group about losing their virginity.
We get about 50 questions a day from girls in your age group who are hurt over the disrespectful way their boyfriends have dumped them after having had sex, sometimes for the very first time for her.
Do not do it. You are too young. Why are you in such a hurry to loose something that is so precious but comes with serious emotional and physical consequences.
You don't even know about sex. Have you been on the birth control pill for at least a month? If not you may get pregnant on your very first time. Condoms have a failure rate, they slip, they break and do not even protect you from every type of STD out there.
Search this site for losing your virginity, search the articles link for losing your virginity.
Google HPV virus risk factors and learn how having sex at a very young age puts you at a very high risk of contracting this virus (which condoms do not protect you from) which can lead to deadly cervical cancer. Do you even know what a cervix is?
It is great you are thinking about it and having some second thoughts.
My best advice to you is you need to go to your mother and talk to her about having sex for the first time. She raised you, she tried to instill her values in you, she has your best interests at heart and she doesn't want to see you make a mistake or not have the knowledge you need. If you are adult enough to have sex, you should be adult enough to be able to talk about it with one or both of your parents. It is their responsibility, not ours to educate you and counsel you about losing your virginity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): not to pry or anythin but may i ask how long u and this guy has been together? because if u were sure he is the one u wanted to be with u wouldnt be on this website asking for advice about this u wud be comfortable enough to know that he is the one for u if your having second thoughts i suggest u wait it out a little while longer to make sure this guy is worthy of your virginity...
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