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Help breaking up with a boyfriend

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I need help on breaking up with my boyfriend..

It has been about a year and a month since I have been with my boyfriend. He is one of the kindest people I know..he cares about me a lot..always asks if I'm ok..but..the problem is..he is a pathlogical liar..

and up to this point..I cannot believe a single word that comes out of his mouth anymore..

I guess it will be easy for someone to break up with him..but I can't seem to do it.. Despite all his lying and cheating..I still love him so much..and I absolutely HATE the feeling of hurting him by breaking up with him..even though I picked up his lies right after another..

we got into quite a number of arguments about trust..

I told him I couldn't trust him..but he says he still wants me..I've told him so many times..a relationship will not work without trust..he says he doesn't care..he doesn't want me to leave him..he tells me i'm everything he's got..

but I know that talks to another girl..right behind my back..

I can't bring myself to say it..I don't want to be with him anymore..but I also don't want to leave him..because he says he won't be the same anymore..that it will hurt him so much.

This is really eating me up inside..

Can someone please tell me how I should break up with him..I've tried several times..but he keeps holding onto me..and it hurts so much..

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A female reader, angel sweeney United States +, writes (2 September 2009):

angel sweeney agony auntAlright,first of all if you know hes talking to another girl, then you should already know right there he gonna lie about that too you too so he could be doing other stuff with other girls...and GIRL you do not need no man who is gonna straight up lie to you...i you'st to date a guy that would lie all the time and it wasnt cool and he would lie about stupid things like...one day his ex wnated to talk to him and i was there and he said he didnt wanna talk to her so he told my friend to tell me to go to my house and he'll be there so i walked to my house and waited 15 minutes...and he never showed so i walked back to his house and his ex still there and telling me that there getting back togather...I was so mad so i walked up to him and asked him if he was gonna get back with her and why he didnt show up at my house...welll he said hell no he aint getting back with her and that he heard i had another boyfriend well we just ended it like three months ago he back with his ex and im with mines...just tell him you cant take it but you both can still be friends

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A male reader, Heartbroken in love United States +, writes (2 September 2009):

excommunication. cease all contact with him. build a support group of friends (not guys). I say not guys because there is liable to be a guy willing to take advantage of you being vulnerable. you can't be friends with him at this point. You said he is kind but everything you said after that eluded to the contrary. He cheats. He doesn't love you. tell him to take his BS somewhere else and walk out the door and don't look back. I know its hard I would never tell you its easy but its what needs to happen.

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