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He worries I wont 'get over him' so we cant even be friends!

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance, Online dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 December 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

long story short, long distance thing, never met, but knew eachother from a friend, talked for 4-5 months (not every day) but wen we did talk it would be for 6 hours straight (like once a wk) and maybe a few minutes everyday) Got along real well, talked about EVERYTHING, became good friends, said i was interesting, but had money problems, we couldnt meet up. I got fed up when he stopped calling and told him how i felt. It scared him off. We havent spoken in the last 2 + months, Im over HIM b/c i know that any guy who makes me cry isnt worth waiting for. HOWEVER im not over our friendship, we bonded so much and the last thing he said to me was that he wanted us to be good friends....i want that back....the only reason y he doesnt talk to me is b/c he thinks 'i wont get over him' if we talk...yea well im over him (i do not want him to be my bf EVER) but i do wanna talk and be friends....would it look bad on my part (someone who was the first to say i like u, and now going bak to say well i just wanna b friends or is it ok? just wanna say its been a while, i got over u but not our friendshp. HOws that?

View related questions: long distance, money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

so should i ask him or what?

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A male reader, Athleticmind United States +, writes (17 December 2009):

Real friendship cannot be had unless both people are serious about being friends first, and ex's second.

If you really want to be his friend, and he yours, and it's not just a cover-up because one of you actually wants it to be more, then all the pieces will fall into place.

If you're ready to be friends, and it don't happen, then he probably wasn't really into being real friends anyway.

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A male reader, Garm United States +, writes (17 December 2009):

Let him make contact. No contact gives you control. Moving on gives you even more. Improve you friendships with your other friends--they are physicaly available.

He probably realized it's unhealthy to carry on a relaionship with someone he hasn't met, or his interest has shifted to someone more convenient.

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