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He won't accept my apologies! How do I get him to listen?

Tagged as: Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2017)
A female Bangladesh age 22-25, anonymous writes:

So today my boyfriend and I were having a great time.He came over to fix my computer.He is so clumsy and dirty.And I'm not clumsy and I love my room and bathroom clean.So he made a mess in my bathroom and I got mad at him and then we went pass that.Then he broke my chair by leaning on it too much and I did not make a fuss about it.Everytime He eats , he drops food everywhere.So today he asked me to open my CPU while he was seated on another chair and I was sitting on the floor.So I asked him to come take a look at my CPU and he wasn't moving.And then I got mad and told him "okay it's high time you lose weight!" He was very skinny before and ever since we started dating ( it's been 20 months ) he gained weight and I love it.Because it's cute!But he has become so clumsy!I hate how lazy and clumsy he is.So he got mad at me!I did apologise but he said "sorry isn't going to fix it" so then I wanted to return this letter he gave me once where he wrote "I'm sorry for making you cry" like 4 full pages.And when he did not want it , I tore it.Because my apology didn't mean anything to him.Now he is not speaking to me.I called him about 50 times , but he wouldn't answer!What do i do? I love him so so much!And he is turning 24 this year :( so I did not expect him to react this way.I feel horrible!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (11 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntAm sorry but you sound to immature to be in a relationship. You have no right to tell someone to lose weight. You have probably made him feel really horrible about himself. Also if he is clumsy by nature that does not mean you should get angry at him. So he gets angry because you hurt his feelings so you rip up a letter he wrote you? Honestly it sounds like you are acting like a 12 year old. Calling him 50 times is not going to help with matters. Stop calling him and give him time. You need to act more mature if you are wanting to be in a relationship.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2017):

Denizen agony auntWhere do I start? You are both acting like children. You don't know how to talk to each other and the results you are now enjoying, or not, are because you both have not respected the other.

Stop calling him because that is making him feel more powerful. He feels he has you on the back foot.

He may be clumsy and messy but he was trying to help you fix your PC. Incidentally I don't think he was trying to open your CPU. That is the central processing unit. It is a solid-state chip.

I think for now you should both enjoy a cooling off period and put your level heads on. It might help you both to appreciate was is good and what is not in your relationship.

By the way, I don't think you should encourage him to put on weight. Unless he was abysmally thin it isn't considered healthy.

I hope a period of calm will help you see things clearer. Being sensitive to others is a life lesson and if I may be so bold one that you are both still learning.

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