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He was out of order for reading my messages, now I'm so confused.

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 January 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 7 January 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So ive been chatting to this lad for about 4 months now, we have history but lost contact. We started chatting and getting very close, and i was confused at where we stood with each other, i asked him, he told me he wasnt able to commit to anything as he isnt ready, and that he didnt want me to wait around all my life for him,and that if i was looking for anything more serious to look else where, as you can tell he a pretty decent bloke. So i left it as we was. Bit of casual fun. I was honest in telling him i was chattin to other people.

But last night we was chattin about family stuff and he wanted to see a picture of my step mum, she has her facebook settings set so no one can see, so i sed he could log in my facebook and have a look. What i didnt expect is him going in my inbox (i should of pre-empted him but i did trust him not too) and then started asking me questions about this other lad, i.e do you like him, is he your age (this lad is 4 years older), would you ever date him?! and when i answered he went all funny.

I dont understand why he was like this, for one he shouldnt of been reading my messages, and 2, he said that he didnt mind me chatting to other people. I told him he was out of order for reading my messages.

OMG i am so confused in how to react to this!

Please Help!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

I asked the question...

Yes i do know him in person! Like i said we have history!

And as for some 50 year old man. I am not that stupid. I was just giving a brief history. My question was as it states,

How do i react to him reading my messages,

not "omg i gave some random lad i met of the internet my log in details and he hacked me!"

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

GrimmReality agony auntNo...

if you were so dumb as to give somebody online your information willingly, then It's YOU who are out of order!!!

Didn't you grow up in the age of "DONT GIVE YOUR INFORMATION TO ANYONE???"

Of course you did.

All you had to do was copy the pic and post it in the IM.

So now you have another problem...God knows what pictures he took and now maybe can photoshop...dont be surprised if you see some photo shopped work of your Stepmom servicing Tiger Woods or Barack Obama!!

That may be the least of your problems. sounds like you didn't know him in real life, just maybe online, is that correct? If thats the case how do you know he isnt a 50 year old guy who just wanted to chat you up to get some info...now he probably has it!!

But of course he didn't obtain them illegally as much as you may want to protest, you allowed him access to your accounts...no telling what he grabbed.

Or just talk to him about it....he'll be honest...LMAO!!!

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A female reader, Lib1 United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

Lib1 agony auntListen not everyone looks through your private accounts or things. My boyfriend handed me his phone and turned his back and did whatever. I so badly wanted to check his texts for this girl he is friends with that used to be his f-buddy who has been pestering him to meet up with her before she leaves her hometown for school. I didn't...

You should not give people your password but trusting him not to look is another thing.

Also don't bother interpreting this guy. Just tell him you're a literal person and until he says you're my girlfriend exclusively you're going to do whatever you want.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

Going to your inbox was a breach of trust. I have someones email details as i open some messages for them when they arent able to get online. Ive never looked at anything other than what im asked to look at. Its the same as giving someone the keys to your home if they need something. You hardly expect them to go through all of your private things while there, do you?

This guy is being unfair. Hes telling you that you are just fun and he wants nothing more with you. Then being a sulk because you are chatting to others. Its really none of his business. Besides, you have no idea what he gets up to on his pc. Let him sulk.

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A female reader, pebs United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

he may have thought he meant what he said but when it was in his face he became jealouse. But at the end of the day he sounds like the kinda guy who doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you either, do not under any circumstance let a guy like that make you feel bad for looking for someone to care for,

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (7 January 2010):

You gave him your LOG IN details??

What did you expect? Every human being would have done just the same thing. Change your password.

As for how to react to him being jealous.... remind him that HE doesn't want anything serious and it's none of his business who you tall to.

Tell him if he wants to make this a boyfriend / girlfriend thing then you'll stop talking to other guys in that way, but until he does then he needs to shut up about this.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

Change your password, first.

Yes, he was wrong. And you are not right in giving off your password to any guy.

What's happened has happened. Now change your password and tell him that you will not entertain any question based on his snooping. That is usually the best way of dealing with ANYONE who looks where he shouldn't and finds stuff he can't handle.

Then stay calm. If he does make a move you can decide what you want to do. At the moment you can't say or do anything.

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