A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago I had a one night stand with a guy i met on a night out, we got on really well and started texting and having casual sex regularly. Both of us didnt want a relationship so we decided to be friends with benefits. After a few months he suddenly stopped texting me as much and i saw him with other girls on nights out so i assumed that he didnt want to see me anymore so we lost contact for about a month. By this point i had began to get feelings for him so i was upset that he was blanking me. Eventually after a month i told him that i had got feelings for him and assumed he didnt feel the same way, however he told me the reason he stopped talking to me was because he caught feelings and thought i would just want to keep things casual. After this we decided to start seeing each other properly and became exclusive. This lasted for about three months, he ended things with me saying that we'd be better off as friends and that it just wasnt working for him. I was really upset and it took me a long time to get over it. I didnt agree to the friends thing and therefore we didnt have any contact with each other for about five months. Then this week i saw him on a night out and i decided it was time to talk to him and just put everything behind us and be friends which he agreed to. But later in the night i ended up going home and sleeping with him. He kept saying that he feels comfortable with me and we know each other so well thats why he keeps coming back to me. We obviously both have some unresolved feelings for each other and we sat up and talked for hours about us. However the next day he never messaged me and i had a little argument with him about it the next time i saw him which i later apologized for. I feel like i should never have slept with him as its just brought all these feelings back but the way he was talking the other night made me think he perhaps wanted to give things another go. I know he's really awkward with his emotions and doesn't talk about his feelings to anyone apart from me. Should i just leave him alone from now on?
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friend with benefits, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 Yes leave him alone from now on. The first thing you done after a five month gap was jump in to bed with him again, if you wanted him to take you serious that was not the way to go around it. You are both comfortable having sex with each other, but he does not want anything more from you. You are confusing sex with him having feelings for you. The kindest thing you can do is stop all contact for yourself, as it is only you that is going to keep on getting hurt.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 October 2016):
 He keeps coming back because YOU are convenient. He doesn't WANt a relationship WITH you, he just wants to F... you and hang out with you... when it suits him.If someone TELLS you I DO NOT want a relationship, LISTEN to that. Accept it or don't waste any more time on them. Don't presume that because he comes back for some company and sex here and that, that he has changed his mind.
So YES, DO block him - DO cut all contact, DO leave him alone and DO move on.
Don't settle for a FWB in the future. The "notion" of a FWB sounds fine but in reality? It's for lazy people who don't want to invest a bit of themselves into a relationship with someone else, they just want ALL the benefits of having SOMEONE - ANYONE. There is a reason they rarely work out to be more than a couple of "glorified F-buddies".
Him having "trouble" talking about his feelings to anyone but you, isn't because he cares deeply for you.
Let him go. Wish him well.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (2 October 2016):
 Yes, cut all contact.
It's not going to work or else it would be doing and you'd be together in a relationship.
I have a few friends in on/off relationships and they're just always angry and bitter with each other, it's just so toxic and unhealthy.
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