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He was my friend a long time ago. But he now has a girlfriend. Could I ever mean more to him? Or is he destined to be only a friend?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Family, Flirting, Friends, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 March 2017)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

I fell in love with a old friend i met 39yrs ago.

i were dating another one also.

I chose my husband over him who is now deceased in whom were also a friend at that time.

My friend came back in my life after 26yrs.

To support me thru the hard times.he let me know he still care for me but i wasn't yet over my husband.

He still talked about how i hurt him by chosing my husband over him.for me to tell him what he did so he wouldn't make the same mistake.

I don't what he did, if anything. my husband were just a fun type guy and we both fellin love.

i had three kids and he raise them as his own.

i have an older son who doesn't care for my friend.

My friend has problem with my son and our relationship.my had told me were leading me on.

no one is working 24hrs. he have rental houses,apts. airplanes etc.

i knew he inherit a lots from his parents when i first met him.

he is very posessive and i had that before.

i were married not my last husband but my 2nd husband. he shot me twice and killed my daughter in the same incident that was a long time ago.

i very protective of my children, we are a close family.sometime people don't understand because they didn't receive it from their family.

i were making a decesion and i were including my friend.

he told me are you aware that i have a girlfriend and you just my friend.

i ask who is she and how long has this being going on.

you made me think i were something special in your life.he said i were just playing with you.but were did you think i were getting sex from.

i told when ask i wasn't the same person he knew 39yrs ago.

he still visit and made sure i had him as a man.

my exhusband drank and my friend is a business man.

he only drink to be socialible. i love that about him.

i never smoke,drink myself.but i always attracted alcoholic.

after he told me about the girlfriend, i am really hurt.he told me will continue to be there for me as a friend.

i am a 71yr old woman and i wanted to be more than a friend.

he were having a bad day with his tenants and were taken it out on me. he had given me some money to get me ahead and i gave it to my son.

my son has been there for me. my husband left our home of 29yrs,cars etc.so my son has a good job in las vegas and make sure his mother is secure. i did something that i had not done in 39yrs to my friend.

I told him may god bless you and hang the phone up.

I waited about 8 days and call to apologize he didn't answer the phone. An older lady told me to be still, that i am being texted.

I'd love to hear your advice.

Do you think there is a possibility of something postitive in this situation, and that i could be happy?

All i want is love.

Thanks for listening.

You,ll have a bless and a most prosperous new year.

View related questions: alcoholic, fell in love, has a girlfriend, money, text

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntI'm so sorry you've had such a challenging time, but I do not believe that this man is good for you.

Join hobbies local to you, where you can meet others your age: bingo, seniors dancing, senior holidays, etc. Find someone single to love. Maybe all you need is a genuine companion, but it's clear this friend will only hurt you. Do not apologise, but do not have any more contact with him either.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (4 March 2017):

I really can't understand your post at all. Can I try and summarise it a bit to see if it makes more sense?

It sounds like you have had several husbands but I'm not sure how many or which order they come in.

One who is the father of your son (and other children).

Another that murdered your daughter and attempted to murder you too (or is he the same husband as the father of your son?)

Another husband who brought up your children as his own and has since died.

The man you are currently seeing is a businessman and many years ago (39 years) you were dating him but you chose to marry your husband instead. (The husband that died)

This businessman came back into your life after your husband's death (26 years ago?) He supported you though hard times but you didn't have a relationship with him right then as you were not over your late husband. It is not clear from your post when you started to want to be with him romantically.

This businessman is very wealthy; he inherited a lot of money from his parents and now owns several properties and an aircraft. He does not appear to be an alcoholic like your previous husband(s).

Your son does not like this businessman and thinks he's leading you on.

Since coming back into your life this businessman has shown himself to be quite possessive and has sometimes asked why you didn't pick him over your husband in the first place. He wants to know what he did "wrong".

He has also recently told you that he now sees you as "just a friend" and he has actually been having a relationship with another woman. When you challenged him about this he said he was "just playing with you". He said that he wanted to remain a supportive friend, however.

The last time you spoke you argued although I can't tell what this argument was actually about. You mention that he had a bad day with his tenants and was taking out on you. You also mention that he lent you money which you gave to your son.

You hung up on him. You waited 8 days before calling him to apologise but he did not pick up the phone.

You are asking whether you have a realistic chance of living a happy life with this man.

If my interpretation is correct, I would say NO!

1) This businessman is controlling (and you have a history of picking that kind of guy).

2) He already has a girlfriend that he is in a sexual relationship with (and kind of rubbed it in your face a bit when he told you this).

3) He states that he sees you as a friend and that he was "playing with you" when he insinuated otherwise.

4) He takes it out on you when he has a bad day.

5) Your own son doesn't like him.

I can see nothing but further heartbreak in this but I'm still not sure if I understood the gist of your post so please tell me if I'm wrong.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I want to think Denizen for his reply on my question.Heart is feeling must better.I had not yet gotten a response on my question until he answer. I went thru the EMERGENCY ROOM since I posted the question. We need more people like DENIZEN to look at the brighter side of life.MY son wants to talk to my friend now.He has a friend and i can tell he wants to move on.I am ok with it. I have apologize to my friend about hanging the phone up in his face.He has not response and that ok.He were having a bad day.I were just hurt.My husband died on Valentine Time Day. Although I've been thru a lots. I've taken the negative and apply a positive in my life.I would like to thank DEARCUPID for been here for us.I am very religous and just one of God's LITTLE ANGEL THAT LOVE EVERYBODY.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (4 March 2017):

Denizen agony auntWell, what an eventful time you have had. Of course it may be possible that you and he still could find love. It is your life not your son's. He is only being protective of you. You should listen but you make your own mind up.

It may take time to get to know each other again - we all change. I hope things work out well.

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