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He was keeping me a secret and I was the "one on the side"!

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Earlier today i found out my boyfriend has been seeing someone else.

He kept me a secret from eveyone important in his life and he didn't with this other girl. so i guess i was the 'one on the side'. Which really hurts.

I called him up to tell him i knew and he wasn't even man enough to admit it. So i've told him to never contact me again.

I know i have to stay positive and at least i'll be very wary in the future. and i'm so glad i've found out!!!

but i'm feeling so low right now. i don't know what to do with myself :(

has anyone been in this situation?

and has anyone got any advice?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009):

I have to think I'm cursed with men. I've only ever dated two men and both did this!!!!!

My first bf got married and had a girl with her but abused me to have an abortion. My recent ex boyfrend throughout a year and a half relationship was with his gf well who I thought was his ex! I caught him in my bed with her!

The only advice I can give you is good riddence to bad rubbish. It will break you down you might feel you want to talk to him but don't, it's only going to hurt more. If he can't hold on to probably the best thing that happened to him he's a blind idiot.

There's someone out there for everyone and you'll surly find someone who is truly yours!

Good luck with life in the future!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009):

Yes I have. I felt used, humilated, heartbroken, betrayed etc. He eventually married her and they have a child together. We all stayed in the same neighborhood and I saw them together every other day. It was horrible, to say the least.

But, in time I got over it. He never changed, always had and still has girls on the side. I look at it this way - I dodged a bullet. I'm not hating but I wouldn't want to be in her position ever.

Don't worry you'll get over it, it hurts like hell now but in time you'll look back and laugh about it.

GL

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A female reader, deejuliet United States +, writes (21 March 2009):

deejuliet agony auntI am so sorry for you and I commend you for doing the right thing and dumping this loser. Please dont blame yourself for being the other woman when you didnt even know it. He is the lying, deceitful jackass and you are lucky you found out and got away when you did. I know it hurts because you thought that you had a relationship with this guy and you really didnt. But try to feel good about yourself. You were strong enough to end it rather than try to get rid of the other woman. There are a lot of women who would have gotten whiney and possesive and felt he ought to leave the other woman. That kind of woman is a pathetic loser. You are not one of them. You are strong, independent and think more highly of yourself than to be some jerks toy or a homewrecker. I commend you! Be proud of yourself! You did good!

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