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female
,
anonymous
writes: My partner of six years split up with me after sleeping with another woman. Soon after, he decided he wants us to get back together. However, I am not convinced of his sincerity. He has not finished with the woman he was seeing. He says he is scared of repercussions as he works with her. He insists he is not actively seeing her though. However, I am not convinced of this. He says he plans to finish with her this week and I should be able to move back in next weekend. She didn't move in with him incidentally. The problem is I don't trust him, even though it is not in his nature to want to hurt people or mess them around. He was devastated the day he broke up with me. My friends and family don't trust him either. Am I right not to trust him?
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (16 January 2006):
 It sounds like he treats his relationships like he is taking out the morning garbage. He throws his women away like a piece of trash, and then on to the next. He's very insecure and cannot be alone. I think he is more worried about being hurt and alone because he has to have a replacement for the one he got rid of. Its obvious doesn't care about the heartache he brings to others.
You are right not to trust him. If your friends and family don't trust him, they are seeing things you choose not to see. I don't think the real issue is a matter of trust, its a matter of going on with your life without him in it.
A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (15 January 2006):
tell him to take a hike. he cant have his cake and eat it although he wants to very much. You are absolutely right to listen to your inner voice and dont trust him as far as you can throw him. You can do much better so get out there and mingle wearing your brightest smile.
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A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (15 January 2006):
 I wouldn't trust him, either. He is putting you second to this other woman. First, he cheated on you after you were together for six years, then *he* decided he wanted to get back together (but was STILL seeing the other woman)? What about your desires? Why should you have to sit around waiting for him to get his act together and make up his mind?
He isn't sincere. He's making excuses so he can keep seeing this other woman...and he'd probably see both of you at the same time, if he could.
He plans to finish with her this week, and then you can move back in? Whatever happened to you being first? You came along first. You're the one he dated for six years BEFORE he met this other chick. It sounds like he's talking about furniture or something, and not people! "I'll be done with the brown sofa this week, Honey, and then we can move the blue one back into the room!"
He sounds selfish and manipulative, so I'd have to disagree with your judgment that he doesn't like to hurt people or mess around with them. Didn't he realize that he was hurting you and messing with you when he cheated on you?
Don't get caught up in his web of lies and deceit again. You deserve better.
Best of luck.
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