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He wants to do me "deep and hard" and "hardcore"... what does it all mean and will it hurt?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 September 2007) 10 Answers - (Newest, 11 January 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

hiya,

you no if a boy wants to have sex with me yes what does he meaan by doing it deep and hard??will this hurt due to it being my first time having sex??he also said he wants to do me hard core is this painfull or will i enjoy it??

and is it normal for him to give me love bites all over me whilst having sex??

please help

thanx

xx

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A male reader, danksaur United States +, writes (11 January 2010):

danksaur agony auntI think it might be good to get a guys opinion on this situation. I honestly don't think you would want your first time to be with a guy that says he wants to do you "deep and hard". In my opinion, those words being used to describe sex, is very disrespectful. I think you should wait to have sex with a guy that really respects you and loves you. You will know when the time is right for you. And I wouldn't know from experience but I would only imagine that it would hurt and would not be very pleasant.

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A female reader, Cindy303 United States +, writes (29 March 2008):

Cindy303 agony auntI take it that this is your first time with a man. From the age you posted, I think that you need to think alot to make sure this is what you want. Deep and hard is not painful for most. How long have you known this guy and honestly, I think that you need to hold off and not jump into bed right now. You seem young and not ready yet. Make sure you protect yourself if you do have sex with him. You dont want to end up pregnant or anything else. Best of luck with your decision.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008):

U r way to young to be having sex. Wait until your with someone you could really love. And yes it will hurt...A LOT!! You will bleed and probably wish you never did it if you already did. If you do have sex though take a pill or have him wear a condom.

Be careful

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007):

No, if he wants hardcore sex and it's painful...you will not enjoy it dear. Sounds like this boy has been spending too much time, learning about degrading ways to treat females via pornography. He sounds like he has a very damaged, messed up view of sexuality and is a boy who will use others for his own gratification. Telling you he wants sex deep and hardcore, doesn't sound too respectful of you. He's horny and if I were you, I wouldn't find out what he means. Tell him to take a hike, dear....he is not respecting you and don't...I repeat just have sex with anyone because they ask you. Hang onto your virginity and wait until you are with someone when you grow up...who truely values, cherishes and loves you, with all his heart. Good luck, dear

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007):

wow. i am honestly shocked at the amount of 13-15 year-olds who are already making the decision to have sex.

Honestly, i'm just curious...what's the hurry? I'm 18, and proudly i am still a virgin. I think u shud relax, having sex with ur boyfriend is not going to make him love u anymore than he already does, and so he should understand right away when u tell him that ur too young/not ready. But anyway, to ur question, deep is like he wants to reallly penetrate ur vagina, and at ur age, u'll definately bleed, as he'll break that thin layer of skin in ur vagina called the hymen. And yes, u'll most likely experience pain, everyone does their first time i've heard. I mean, its deep penetration in an extremely stiff and sensitive area. So yes ur first time will most likely hurt a lott, but with experience ur vaginal opening will loosen up and sex will no longer hurt. But n e way, i think u shud just relax n take it easy...

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A female reader, lisa21 United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2007):

i am fed up with hearing about young kids having sex, especially when its just to please their partner, your first time will not be rose petals and fireworks, infact, it's painful, uncomfortable and a bit messy, that's why you should wait til your a bit older and been with someone for a while so that you feel completely at ease with them.

i was 18 when i lost my virginity and was with my ex 7 months before we did anything and i couldn't wait til it was over, it was nothing like i'd expected, please be careful

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (28 September 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntYour way to young to be having sex and your first time should be special and with someone you care about and cares about you it should be gentle and slow, really ask yourself are you ready for sex? Do you want to have sex with this guy? Sex should be special and you should never be pushed into it, and by the sounds of this guy i think he could possibly be pressuring you,remeber no means no!If you do decided to have sex please be careful and use protection.

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A female reader, towapa United Kingdom +, writes (28 September 2007):

towapa agony auntHmm, I think you're a bit too young to be having sex, but I will answer your question...

It depends on how relaxed you are. If you was to be quite tense and nervous for some reason, or you're not turned on at all, and he was doing you 'deep and hard', then yes it would be quite painful for you. I don't think he sounds very caring to be me for some reason, it sounds as if he watches too much porno, as well. I don't know him to actually be saying this, but please be careful of him just in case.

As for giving you love bites during sex, well, some people don't even realise they're doing it! It's like a heat of passion thing. On the other hand, he could be marking you to tell others that 'She's MINE'.

Anyway, seeming as you're having sex, then I hope you're safe by using comdoms and taking the pill, because I know that if we tell you not to have sex, you'd only think, 'They can't tell me I'm too young?!' Take care and if you would like to message me, feel free to do so. :)

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (28 September 2007):

sexi agony auntHi,

Hunni, you shouldnt be having a relationship with someone that wants to have sex with you at such a young age. Yes it would be painful and your first time should be with someone that you love and wanna be with. You shoould be ready and it should feel right. I think you should tell you bf to take a hike as you are too young to be engaging in sex. You jave your entire life.

Regards. mail me if you wanna talk

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A female reader, drastic knowledge United States +, writes (28 September 2007):

drastic knowledge agony auntyour way tooooooooo young by you asking this question wait intill your old enough to have sex and be mature about it get on the pill frist and have safe sex but also know what to do the least you are cluless and just shows your to inmature to be having intercorse with him or anyone else for that mater

if its your frist time having sex i doubt you would like having ruffand hard sex somaybe try something eles gooe luck to you

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