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He wants me to have his baby, how can I postpone this?

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love, Long distance, Pregnancy, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2008) 17 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, *ois-mcphee writes:

ive been seeing an older guy for 4 weeks now.(26) im (15)

and i generally feel like ive fallen for him big time.

we see each other once a week as he lives too far away so he cant afford paying 50 pounds everyday just to see me.

i met him for the fifth time yesterday and we strolled along then kissed and led on the grass under the stars then we went back to the car and sat in the bacxk where we talked we were kissing when he just came out with i want you to have my babies!

i was gob smacked..

but happy.

i love him so much he says the same to me but i wanna postpone it i just cant seem to come up with an explanation as to why.

can anybody help me think of something to tell him? please

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008):

Um. This is probably well late but you already know what to do and what we're telling you. Asking for help and then getting defensive when you get it is no good. You're gonna do what you want quite honestly. Let's forget the legalities for a second.

In a perfect world, age would not mean much as far as maturity. But why this older man is attracted to you and not restraining himself concerns me. I'm much older now and would usually jest with a guy I love if he wanted me to have his babies- taking it as a sign of affection.

But is he's joking withyou to bear his children, especially so quickly. Think twice. He sounds like a control freak by nature and that's the last kind of person you need to hold you back from your potential. And please, don't call me Dr. Phil. I've dated a wide range of ages and it's honestly a mixed bag. Dated an older guy who was less mature than a younger guy I dated- but the younger guy wasn't ready for the level of patience required for a real stable relationship.

It's gonna hurt like hell if you decide to finally break up with him- but if the guy can't keep his hands off you long enough to really get to know you and you know him- I can only pray for your circumstance. That's regardless of age.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008):

I have just read a previous question posted by you last month. You knew from the start that this guy was interested in you.You were given good answers by the uncles and aunts, but it does not seem as if you paid any attention to there warnings.

www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-help-this-guy-find-a.html

I have also read the answer that you gave to this question asked by another poster recently..

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-teaches-at-a-different-school-so-does.html

... and I must admit your reply was somewhat self explanatory to your own situation. It tells a great deal more about you and the situation you are in right now.

I think you have some serious problems young lady and you need help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008):

i agree with another person

tell him youre already pregnant i bet he'll run

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

Honesty is the best policy you know!

XX

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A female reader, lois-mcphee United Kingdom +, writes (25 September 2008):

lois-mcphee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

lois-mcphee agony auntno sorry uncle phil...

i am 15 in my previopus question i stated to be that age as it would be easier for people to approach me and send me info instead of just saying that im too young

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008):

Try telling him you're pregnant (when you're not really) and see how he reacts.

I'll bet you $50 that he starts making excuses to break things off and basically runs like hell.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

You could always try telling him that you are too young to be a mum and that you want to wait till you have a university degree or a carreer before you start a family. If he doesnt agree, you should run for the hills, if he does agree to that, then think about why a 26 year old man wants to be having a relationship with a child, and if you really want the father of your children to be someone who, for all you know might molest them, becaus ehe is attracted to children.

Im sorry if this sounds harch, but honey, be careful, youre young and your hormones are in control at the moment, you are very vulnerable. Please listen to some of us on here and re think this relationship!!

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A female reader, lilgirly Lebanon +, writes (21 September 2008):

lilgirly agony auntoh dear! please think about what you're saying! he is a teacher.. what if he's doing what he's doing to you with others..

and even if he ment no harm he is too old..and this is illegal!please listen to us we're trying to help you.. and show you how to avoid ruining your life.. and if you really love him sy away from him cause he will lose his job if anyone finds out..

please take good care ofyourself.. and if you need anything feel free to contact me.. bye take careXXX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

I smell a rat.

In one of your previous questions you stated that your age is 16, but in this one 15. Which is it?

Anyone else thinking of answering this, take a look at her previous stuff.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

He's a teacher! oh my god. What if he's doing this to other young girls? once he's done with you, it's very likely he'll move on and abuse another student. You need to stop seeing this man, please tell your parents or the police. He's using the baby as a excuse to have sex with you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

Jesus, it gets worse! If he's a teacher he should certainly know better than to behave like this. He deserves to lose his job and his career! How many other little schoolgirls do you think he's groomed for sex in the past - and how many more will suffer at his hands in the future?

Do yourself a big favour and tell the authorities - especially if he teaches at your school which will make it that much easier. No blame will be attached to you - he's the adult here and you're the vulnerable child. Save some other poor kid the trauma of 'falling in love with their teacher' and getting raped - because that's what it would be - statutory rape.

He needs locking up and the sooner the better.

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A female reader, lois-mcphee United Kingdom +, writes (21 September 2008):

lois-mcphee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

lois-mcphee agony aunti know you say tell my parents and phone the police but i couldnt do that to him...

hes a teacher so not only would he go to jail hed lose hes job,career everyting.

and no uncle phil not all teenagers know best thats why im asking of your advice and i so badly want to end this fling but i do feel i love him so it makes it harder for me!!!

i do know what your saying and hes just tryna get me to have sex with him because hes said that he wants to and ive told him i will when im 16 i think he just wants to settle down with hes life..

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A female reader, oikid11 United States +, writes (21 September 2008):

oikid11 agony auntI know, my advice is probab;y useless. But unlike what everyone is saying, I don't think he meant right then. I see their POV but I'm just giving you my 2 cents. I think he meant that he loved you, and that if you wre older, he'd want you to have them, not someone else. Not something meaning he wanted sex at that moment. If I'm wrong, please message me! I'm just trying to show you my point of view. But, I agree, it is a little strange for a 26 year t love a 15 year old, and although my parentshasve that big of asn age gap, it's just because the met in their 20's.

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (21 September 2008):

sappygirl agony auntNo decent 26 year old would ever date a 15 year old.

All he wants is sex and he will do and say anything to get it. If you have a child with him, this will be the biggest mistake of your life. Please do not have sex with him.

I know you feel you are ready and that you are in love.But trust us older women. What you are feeling is lust & infatuation. He is saying and doing all the right things to make you feel good inside. He has to gain your trust.

You need to end this relationship with him. It is against the law, and he will go to jail. In fact, call the police and lock him up right now.

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A female reader, lilgirly Lebanon +, writes (21 September 2008):

lilgirly agony aunti agree with uncle phil, he just wants to have sex with you. and he doesn't love he's just saying that to get in your pants. so stop this right now, cause you will regret it later, and stick with someone your own age.. and as uncle phil said you will ignore us and you'll try to find some advice you would like.even if everyone says no..

he might get in jail for this .. having sex with a minor...

tell your parents..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

Tell him to hand himself into the nearest police station for being a paedophile-or I will, via the site! (IP trace)

What he is doing is ILLEGAL-he is having sex with a CHILD.

Sorry but this relationship is not legal, report this paedophile as the legal age is 16.

Bob (Law/Criminal scientist)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

Think of something to tell him? Oh yes, I certainly could - but it's not printable!

For a start you're under the legal age, and he sounds like he's got paedophile tendencies - AND he needs reporting to the police.

Telling you he wants you to have his baby is grown-up speak for 'I want to have sex with you'. Babies don't come into it and if you were to get pregnant by him my guess he'd be away on his heels faster than you could blink.

A good enough explanation as to why you should 'postpone it' is that he'd probably find himself in jail. There's definitely something wrong with a 26 year-old man wanting to seduce a 15 year-old girl.

Don't kid yourself he's in love with you or you him. It's infatuation on your part and lecherous thoughts on his. I know you'll probably ignore me because teenagers always know best, but you need to put as much distance between you and him as possible. Tell your parents what's been going on, they'll be as horrified as I am.

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