A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been in a sort of relationship with a boy, we are both same age(17). at the start we were just good friends he would come up for a drink, then things started to change we would kiss at weekends and then i saw him during the week and we would kiss now i see him every day and i stay with him or he stays with me, recently hes been wanting a blow job? what can i do to make it passionate? (we still havent had sex)... i want to though i just dont like it, it makes me feel sick what can i do ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): We want to finish in a girl's mouth for the same reason we want to be sucked to begin with: it feels good. Warm, wet, not unlike another place we like to finish.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): I totally agree with the aunts/uncles who said you should just wait until you are actually in a romantic relationship with this guy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): we feel bad for putting you through that and guilt kills afterglow. When a girl swallows, she's saying that she doesn't hate it and we don't need to feel guilty.
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 You're in a "sort of" relationship? What exactly does that mean?
Make it an official relationship, then give it some time before you get sexual. If he's with you both for the commitment and the wait, he's a keeper. If not, move on.
Now, once you've got the keeper and you're ina relationship - well, oral comes standard, unless you both agree otherwise. He does for you, you do for him. You did not say if you've given head before, but from your tone it sounds like you haven't and just don't like the idea of it (please correct me if I'm wrong). It's a lot easier with someone you care about than in a "sort of" relationship, and it's worth at least trying since it won't hurt you. Feel free to ask him to shower and trim first, or to go a few days without caffeine or alcohol.
If, after trying a couple of times, it turns out you really, really can't stand it, then make that clear to him in a gentle but firm way, and see if he's willig to accept that. He may leave, or he may stay, but you have to be level with him.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (1 February 2011):
 hi
your not even in a real relationship with him so why do you feel obliged to do something for him that you don't even like?? maybe the thought of it wouldn't make you feel sick if it was with someone you love. i can't imagine this will be very sexy for him anyway if he can tell that you are hating it! if you want to do something for him though; maybe a handjob would be a good idea?
xx
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 February 2011):
 First and foremost, you never have to do anything you don't want to when it comes to sex. You're never wrong to say no. Never feel obligated to do anything.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, perhaps you need to get to the root of why it makes you feel sick? Is it a smell, taste, the idea of it? Perhaps you're just not that comfortable around a penis. I mean, have you spent any real time with one? Examining it, playing with it, touching it? If not, then that's a good place to start. Most guys I know wouldn't mind as long as you don't get rough with it. It might help you overcome your fears and gain the comfort you need to do this when YOU want to.
As for making it passionate, don't worry about that. Just be open to instruction or directions. Each guy is different, so he will hopefully help guide you to what feels best to him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 February 2011):
 I think you, Ms. "A female reader, anonymous", must have posted this on the wrong question, at least I hope so. To the OP, I totally agree with the aunts/uncles who said you should just wait until you are actually in a romantic relationship with this guy.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (1 February 2011):
 You don't have to do anything like that, if it's not right for you, if you find it repulsive. Just spent time focussing on what you do want to do and what you do enjoy instead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): At a certain point, you've either grown up or you haven't. You can blame your mother, or your father, or your family situation or your drug use or your alcohol use or everyone else you can think of for things that you perceive to be wrong. But the thing is, if you're the one with the problem, you're going to have to grow up and deal with it. Acting like a two-year old having a tantrum isn't going to fix things for you.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (1 February 2011):
Yes, say no. You seem too young and not ready for this kind of thing yet. Wait until you're in a proper relationship and have the love and trust there so that you can feel right about being sexual together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): This is only "sort of" a relationship so you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just tell him no, you don't like it and it makes you feel sick, simple as that, he's not your boyfriend so you don't have to do it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Tell him no! Plain and simple. He needs to respect your answer.
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A
male
reader, Dataluke +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Well you don't actually have to do it if you don't want to. If its something that makes you feel ill then it may not be worth it. However, I do have some suggestions.
A way to make it less disgusting and more sexy is when your round his house, tell him to take a shower and when he comes out, you'll have a surprise for him. Not only will he be clean, and therefore less disgusting but he will be in nothing but a towel, and how sexy will that be? Lol
Next, lie him on his bed and slowly crawl up to him on all fours, he will love this. Tease him a bit and then go for it.
This should make it fun for both of you.
All the best, Dataluke
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