A
female
age
30-35,
*alinamo
writes:Is he cheating?My boyfriend of 4yrs and 11 mnths . nowadays constantly takes his clothes to the dry cleaners where his ex works.but before he used to do his own laundry. Is he cheating?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (6 November 2014):
Um, what?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): You will need more evidence.... but keep your eyes ON HIM from now on. Do not let on that you suspect anything. You will know when or if the time comes to confront him. Never, ever let your guard down. Guilty until proven innocent is my motto.Never dismiss any thoughts you have. It does matter if he has a history of infidelity or not. There is always a first time. And exes are definitely on the list of candidates to cheat with!Just keep your eyes open and watch him.Too early to tell.BUT...Never dismiss your thoughts as wrong or paranoia. Women have gut instincts for a reason. It does seem odd to me that he keeps going to his ex's work place when he used to do all his own laundry. That is a CHANGE IN BEHAVIOUR or a RED FLAG to watch...See if his behaviour towards you changes at all. Is he still having sex with you? Wanting to be with you as much as before? Sharing things with you? Being intimate? Or is he distant? Not as affectionate? Cancelling plans? Spending more time on his own/away from you? More closed off? All these signs WILL ADD UP if you are looking carefully.Maybe you should follow him to the dry cleaners one day and watch him. See how long he stays.... if he goes close to closing and leaves with her. Actually seeing things for yourself can give you a better picture of what is really going on. Just make sure neither of them sees you.Hope it works out in your favour. But my advice is never to be complacent and dismiss things. That is how you get played for a fool.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 November 2014):
 Actually, don't dismiss the thought.
If a behavior pattern purposely puts him in a place his ex works, where before he never did that, then he may be looking for an excuse to see her.
Did he start a new job that requires him to wear suits?
Did she always work there?
Don't accuse him of cheating because you have nothing to do on, but just keep your eyes open and pay attention. Do not start constantly questioning him either, because it will either cause him to leave you, OR he'll hide an actual affair better, so it's counterproductive.
There is also a chance that it's all innocent. Just keep your eyes open and watch the mileage on his car.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 November 2014):
 There is no way to know from where he does his laundry if he's cheating or not.
what other signs to you have?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 November 2014):
That's the flimsiest reason to suspect him of cheating. Does he have a history of infidelity?
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