A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So this is a bit complicated and I will try to keep it short.I used to have a thing for a guy when I was 16. I asked him out when I was 19 but he said no since he was in a relationship(which I was unaware of).Then I decided to move on and I dated a few people down the line. We lost touch barring an occasional hello etc and the customary birthday call. I never tried to meet him again...it's been four years since I saw him.A year or so ago we got talking a bit...over mail...and what's app.I am currently engaged and about to get married. I don't know if he knew this or not. But here's the thing. I never forgot his birthday even once and neither did he. It was our thing. The one thing we did for each other each year. And he would always thank me for remembering. I recollect that last year, I was the only one who remembered.He and I exchanged a few mails and spoke over he phone once in Feb. Then in may, he forgot to wish me. He sent a message saying he was going to call but forgot and he has no excuses.Then I got sick and I was hospitalized. I mentioned it to him over text and he replied back with a statement which made no sense to me :'I got no words'. And he vanished. Then I casually mentioned that I was better and was seeing someone else.He said he had no words again and then asked me if it was ok if he came to meet me. I said sure.Again he vanished and then for a few days no message and then apart from a hi on facebook there has been no news.I don't want anything from him but yes it hurts me when he ignores me like this. I just wanted to stay friends but I guess he will alway treat me like this.There have been two instances when we were in touch where he said we would meet and he kept me hanging and never confirmed those plans.Why does he do this. Why can't I just get the guts to tell him to get lost. I know I am happy in my relationship. Maybe because I always felt he was a soulmate. Please help me.
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engaged, facebook, move on, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I have cut him off and you are right he has been no friend to me. So it's a waste of my time.
A
female
reader, princess precious  +, writes (21 August 2016):
 just come out with it tell him to go away or just stop talking to him which ever you feel more comfortable with
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (21 August 2016):
 You know, remembering birthdays is not a friendship. It's a habit.
And the way he treats you with such dismissive behavior is NOT a friendship either.
You can't MAKE him want to be a friend.
So blocking him on your phone, FB etc. is totally fine.
Sometimes we just outgrow people.
Time to let him go, make some REAL friends.
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A
female
reader, missmatador +, writes (21 August 2016):
 Dear Anon,We are but tiny crystals of sand in a desert; there is no more significance in the meeting of this man or his reappearance in your life other than you inviting him in with messages and emails. That is not to say that you do not share a strong connection with him.You do; but it is simply out of habit and devotion to the habit. You have no emotional bonds, you have no coherent memories with one another and you have no common ground to stand on.You can try an over-analyse him returning your calls or maintaining contact with you but you know that it is in no way similar to love or else you wouldn't be in the relationship you are with your fiance that you prize so much. People like to have constants in their life. You are the constant for the man that isn't your husband and it is doing you no favours other than breaking the intimacy you could be sharing with your fiance. Stop it now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): Cut him off and go no contact
He wasn't interested since the beginning
You're holding out on someone who is flaky
Give up and FOCUS on your RELATIONSHIP
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