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He talks about sex but never performs. Is he gay?

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Question - (20 May 2019) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 May 2019)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been with a man for 15 months, We are both in our mid 50s . He says he loves me but he has NO passion. He kisses me but they are little pecks. He will some time kiss my neck and when I am feeling a little excited, he pushes me away. He says it is because he has troubles with an erection. There are other things to satisfy one another, he says he has had plenty of sexual experienx\ces with women . He watches porn and has fun by himself rectally. Is he playing me ? Is he gay? Insecure with himself . He talks about sex constantly, but never performs. I am so confused. this seriously hurts me as a woman.

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View related questions: erection, insecure, porn

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (21 May 2019):

BrownWolf agony auntIt took you 15 months to finally write this post to say how unhappy you are. You plan to sick around for another 15 months to post how completely unhappy you are???

I am sure you saw the signs 6 months into this relationship. But you chose to stick around unhappy for another 9 months...why??... Hoping what you already know will some how turn into a dream relationship?? It is good to dream, but you need wake up and go live your life.

Let him live in his fantasy world of porn. Go find a man that will make YOU the only porn he needs.

Note...He is ONLY a boyfriend, not your husband. plus...knowing what you know now...what to marry him and live like this til death do you part???

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2019):

N91 agony auntYou aren’t sexually compatible.

What are you staying for?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2019):

Ask him go the doctor and ask for Viagra. Doc will check him out and write him a prescription. Ask for the generic, it's just as good and a lot cheaper. Don't get the snake oil they sell on tv ads. Meanwhile try to work in a bj, if you're so incline. Maybe you joke 'If the Philles win I'll give you a bj.'

The Viagra really works, i'm 7o and wife and i go at like porn stars, LOL -- well almost.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 May 2019):

Honeypie agony auntOP, your problem is that you "think" this is about you. It's not. HE can't keep an erection and is worried that he can't perform to satisfy you overall, for ALL his bravado.

If you are OK with with only HEARING about having sex, then stay and enjoy his companionship, because think that is really ALL he has to offer.

If you want more intimacy I think you need to find someone else.

I don't think playing with himself anally means he is gay it just means he has found something that he finds enjoyable. BY himself.

I think he is an ALL talk no action kind of guy. He probably doesn't want to go talk to his doctor about his ED, instead he is sorta punishing YOU for not being able to keep an erection which is unfair and untrue.

It's NOT you not being good enough, woman or sexy enough, it's AGE and EGO that is stopping him.

I'd move on, personally.

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