A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband has always looked at porn-despite how I've told him it makes me feel, a few months ago he actually stopped for a while (his phone broke) and he said wow I'm a lot more into you since I stopped watching porn, gee thanks, he says that's he hasn't watched it since. He doesn't think that his comment should of hurt my feelings, but that was him pretty much saying wow you're kinda hot too when I'm not looking at all these much hotter girls all day.My big concern is that he takes his phone everywhere with him. To the bathroom, when he showers, to run into the kitchen real quick. If I ask to use his phone (he has data, I don't) he'll grab it and mess with it real quick, or he'll ask why I need it and do it for me. If I don't have my phone on me and need to make a call or text, e dials t for me and always wants it right back. I really don't think he's cheating on me (he's done a few thugs years ago) but it dries me crazy. I've tried asking him and he just gets defensive says whatever I don't do that and storms off...with his phone. Should I be concerned or am I just paranoid?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 March 2015):
 I think you have good reason to be concerned. IF he had nothing to hide he wouldn't need to do all those extra "steps" before handing it over.
If I need to use my husbands phone I either JUST take it ( I have a pay as you go - he has free text/call) and call whomever. I don't snoop, as I see no reason TO snoop. But his actions are not like those of your husband's.
The thing is you won't get to the bottom if he can't seem to own up to his behavior. Now he MAY NOT be cheating, it might be that he has nasty porn or pictures on his phone and he doesn't want you to think badly of him.
You two need to learn how to communicate better.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): You should definitively snoop into the phone when he is not looking. If it's porm it is no big deal and don't react. But being so possessive of the device may mean he is cheating with a woman or corresponding in some such way. Some people are against snooping, scolding how dare you, but I say that if you ain't got nothing to hide then why are you. So by all means, snoop.
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