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He still wants to have sex, but not live together, is he using God as an excuse?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 June 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years and have been living together for 3. I don't know how to define a ''good'' relationship, i'd say it is, with the occasional arguements of course. We're both 21. Recently he's gone through a strange weeklong depression and got out of it by ''finding god.'' Since then he's become a ''born again christian''. Well sorta, he still smokes pot a lot and drinks, i mean we're all not perfect. Just recently we had a talk and he wants to move out on his own and have me move out on my own, but still continue this relationship. He says he feels like?he's doing god wrong by living with me when we're not married...but we still have sex. he still wants to continue our sex life. i'm not too religious, but of all the sins he's committing, he'd rather not be a sinner when it comes to me. i mean come on, he still wants to have sex every night! i get it, maybe its an excuse to eventually end this relationship when we move. it just angers me that he's using god as his coverup. i don't know. maybe i'm wrong? please tell me what you think. HELP ME :( it hurts to feel like he's trying to get away from me in such a shitty way.

View related questions: christian, sex life, smokes

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009):

OK..ask him if he still loves you or in the first place do you still love him? if his answer is "not anymore"..then it's confirm,he is just using God,eventually he'll gonna dump you .you should part ways now or continue having sex without an assurance of love.he will just prolong your agony .ask him and from his answer,go ask yourself too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009):

I agree with the other posters he is using his so called new found faith in god as an excuse (or it could be the pot talking as it does mess with your head).

I would suggest you try to come to terms with the fact that your relationship is over and leave him before he gets the chance to leave you. He has probably never thought of the possiblity of you leaving him so it will come as a shock to him and hopefully make you feel a little satifaction even though you may have feelings for him.

Dont throw your life away for this looser you deserve better.

Good Luck for the future.

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A female reader, Blondy United States +, writes (9 June 2009):

Blondy agony auntThis guy wants you to move out so he can do what he wants unmonitered, and yes it sounds to me like he is trying to end this relationship in a really lame way. If he was serious about his new faith the sex would stop AND you would move out. I'm sorry if this sounds mean but its the sex that is said to be the sin, not the fact that you live together. Living together just enables the sex to happen and that is why churches are against it.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (9 June 2009):

rcn agony auntIt's angering you, but are you being truthful with how you feel, or making it seem as if you're accepting this excuse? I suggest you don't give any more sex. Doing so is playing into his reasoning. If he's reborn, than no sex before marriage has to be part of his changes as well. Not that I'm saying, being a reverend myself, that God is upset about your sex-life, but that's the direction he's taking, so he can't have his cake and eat it too.

Tell him what is relevant is honesty. It's more in God's favor to tell you truthfully what his intentions are than hurting you by playing these games.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (9 June 2009):

Danielepew agony auntI agree with the anonymous poster. He's making excuses to leave you in a cowardly way.

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