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He spent so long chasing me and now he just wants to be friends!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 September 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 September 2007)
A female United States, anonymous writes:

A show of hands please, when he tells you after dating for a few months let's just be friends, does he really mean it is over, he doesn't want to be romantically involved with you ever again?

I started out as friends with this guy, and he pursued me every day until we went out, we have a lot of physical attraction at first, we relate well, and have a fabulous time when we are together....he has a lot of stress in his life and issues he is dealing with and he likes to be everyone's friend, including other women.

He never asked me for a commitment, but my feelings were ferreted out at his insistance that I probably see this going towards committment to an exclusive dating relationship, but he insists on staying single, and when I got frustrated with him and he started spending some time with another woman I pushed him away hard....he came back with seeing her more when at first he told me he wouldn't and with asking that we just be friends, no kissing even is allowed......he is just backing away like a crab...however, he admits to having strong feelings for me, and he doesn't want to be attached or close to anyone just now.....

Does this sound to you like a man who is totally and forever rejecting my heart, or when he says let's just be friends does he mean he has not made his mind up about what he wants....he is still calling me and plans on seeing me----as a friend....but I don't want to waste my time as I have romantic intentions for him.....what is any body's guess or take on the finality of the friends talk....it came at a time in our relationship when he was hinting about commitment and saying to other people but not me that I was his girlfriend, and talking about "if our relationship became official".....and then I got frustrated, pushed him away, and he decided to see someone else he had been flirting with, nothing has happened there, yet, except conversations between those two and he tells me about when he has seen her so as to be honest with me....

And what do I do? Would cutting myself out of his life make him want me more, or is that a bad idea, since maybe he has not made up his mind completely or has he? AAAARGH!

View related questions: flirt, kissing

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A female reader, Nevalearn Australia +, writes (9 September 2007):

He sounds to me like he wants to keep you around until he's finished playing the field or to see if he can find someone better. I'd cut him loose and start dating again. He will either come running back to you and make a committment or you will realise you are better off without him.

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