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He slept with another girl whilst we were broken up, I don't know what to do!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend broke up with me from Oct 09 to Nov 09. He came back towards the end of November and left on October 8, 2009. We have been good since his return in late November. He has really been so amazing. We love each other so much. But, two nights he told me that during that break up he had sex with a girl. I couldn't take it. I began crying like crazy and then he told me to calm down, sweetly, that he loved me and that it was a joke. I could never take the idea of him being with another girl.

And then yesterday morning I called him and he was choking up. I asked him what was wrong. And he said that he lied, that it was true. He really did it. I have no idea what to do. It's been months since then, and he never told me until two nights ago. My head is telling me to really let him go, but I love him so much. I swear, when I'm not with him, I can't breathe. He's my best friend and my love. He has been so great since he has returned. But the idea of him doing that stabs my heart with such vigorous pain.

He told me he could never have any urges to want to sleep with any girl, except me.

But then he tells me the truth. I really respect the fact that he took the balls to tell me the truth. But the fact that we were broken up for only a short time makes me wonder how easy it was for him to just be with another girl. But he told me he was high and drunk. And I take that as no excuse. If somebody was drunk and high and killed a person, you can't take it back. You still did it.

It shouldn't take him the time with another girl to realize that he loves me.

I swear as my own person, I'd never take a guy back like this even if we weren't together. Because during that break up, I was depressed and I even chased him and he pushed me away. It was over a little argument. Nothing serious. But he left me, and I still chased him, and he pushed me down. And then he sleeps with some random girl.

To me I thought he left to clear his mind. But instead he left to sleep with some female and then realize it wasn't right, so then he returns to me.

But I love him so much.

I need help. Please help me.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, depressed, drunk

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

Miss, you are still young and have more than enough time to look for a nicer man, who would not resort to booze whenever they have problems. And worse, using those "being drunk and high" as an excuse.

However, he told you about it, that means he wants to make amend. I assumed he's as young as you are, so he probably is a bit immature. He had problems, so he got high and then did things that he came to regret after he's sober.

Personally, I can not respect people who act like that.

But since you love him so much, and he's your best friend too, stay with him and don't talk about this thing ever again. Enjoy your relationship with him, be happy as you should, but don't rush into marriage or starting a family life, because he still needs time to grow up.

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