A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im in my 20s with a boyfriend of a few years and i am looking for ideas to spice up our sex life. We get on brilliantly and sex is great but sometimes just so regimented and in the dark. It makes me feel a bit like a robot just doing it for the sake of it,we are always too tired from work for sex. I really want to watch porn with him and play with sex toys and tie him up and feel really dirty and naughty but he doesnt seem interested in porn or all that kinky stuff. How can i get him to be adventurous. Hes 26, 5 years older than me and says that he has 'done it all before'...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 well to be honest you can't.
if he has BTDT then he knows what he likes and what he doesn't like.
if he likes it at night in the dark and only one way that may be what he likes and how he is and you guys may be sexually incompatible.
you could try putting on a cute nightie... and grabbing some fur lined handcuffs and saying "come here baby I have something to show you" but you run the risk of pissing him off or upsetting him if you don't listen to him and if the roles were reversed and we told a man to do it to a woman some would cry foul or rape.
If you have talked to him about it and he says NO he's NOT interested, well then perhaps it's time to talk to him about possibly ending the unsatisfying relationship...
because while you will come back and tell me you love him, if you are this upset and unhappy at 21 about your sex life with this man, imagine what will happen in 10 years if you stay with him?
sex in the dark in the same position once a week every week for life.
is he regimented and rule based for other things in his life?
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