A
female
age
36-40,
*ezz
writes:Hi,Ive know my boyfriend for 2 years now, ever since i met him he was always interested in me however i wasnt really in to him. But 6 months ago he asked if i wanted to go for a drink, i went and we havent been apart since then and are currently boyfriend and girlfriend.As he used to attend the same university as me i would often hear rumours about how he was a bit of a whore, i confronted him and he admitted to it, but says now his very much into me 'loves me' and we do get on well. however im quite an insecure person and having known his the from his past i find it hard to trust. Up and till now he hasnt given me any reason not to trust him.But today, i know im in the wrong, i got on to his facebook account and read various convosations with other girls, some of it was jus friendly but then some very flirty 'i would like to spend the night with you' and other sort of comments like that ! I really dont know what to do without telling him i got on to his facebook...someone please help, i really dont want to get hurt.
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facebook, flirt, insecure, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (8 April 2010):
 I think patient66 has the answer. Say nothing about Facebook. Just start a conversation about respect and fidelity within a relationship. Explain to him that you wont flirt or lead any guys on. And ask that he treats you with the same respect and doesnt flirt with or lead any girls on. Tell him you dont like that sort of behaviour while in a relationship and you wouldnt be happy with a guy that behaved that way. If he agrees with you, then ask for a promise. Hopefully he will then mend his ways.
A
female
reader, bezz +, writes (8 April 2010):
bezz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, feeling a little better about things this morning. I'm seeing him today and really don't know how to approach the situation. It says if I don't start trusting him we have to break up, says I have trust him. But those conversation were inappropraite ! ! He lies and says he doesn't talk to girls but as I know he does !! Just feels like one big mess !
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A
female
reader, sounknown31  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 if you cant trust him, he's probably saying i love your to cover something up
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A
female
reader, patient66  +, writes (8 April 2010):
Thats tuff. Because before you went on his facebook I would have said give him a chance because you have to take a risk to find love. And he has done nothing to make you not trust him.
But if these flirting emails were recent (while you are going out) He shouldnt be writing/ talking to other girls this way.
I wouldnt tell him about you looking into his facebook, he will prob change his password then you will be more in the dark or he will leave.
Maybe say in a conversation about how you feel about married or commited man should not flirt etc to other women. Then he will get the point you dont stand for this. Hopefully it will stop
If it doesnt you wont get the respect you deserve so leave.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (7 April 2010):
 I think you should respect his privacy and not logged into his facebook. Okay what he did in his past is his past and you have no right to throw it in his face. For example you marry this guy and he finds out you were not a virgin, and he throws it in your face everyday and calls you a whore for what happened before his time, he has no right for that, so neither do you. Try to be happy and you work on your insecurities and until he gives you any reason not to trust him you trust him and don't reminisce on his past.
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