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He says girls leave him because hes too nice. Is that my cue to walk away?

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Question - (6 April 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone I am a african american female and I just started talking to a white/Caucasian male he's really nice and sweet but he tells me that girls leave him cause they say he's too nice should that be my cue to walk away now? We've only been talking for a day and he already told me that he loved me I don't know if he caught it though but I sure noticed it and it kind of scared me a bit. He told me he'll call me tomorrow which is today and he told me to promise him that I'll answer. I'm starting to be worried after only a day of talking to him and the question I have is should I be worried? I know that a lot of you aren't psychological analyzers but have anyone had a experience with a guy who was just too nice and how did everything turn out? I'm trying to make sure that he's not clingy, needy, or worse controlling and abusive. Help me please.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you everyone for your answers. I've decided to do like one poster suggested and run like hell, Lol. He hasn't tried contacting me again, so that kind of makes things easier. But when we did talk, I told him we had to take it a day at a time. I like to take it slow. Well now that there won't be a day at a time with him, I'm on to the next. Thank you again.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (6 April 2011):

person12345 agony auntGirls don't run because he's too nice, they run because he's clingy! He told you he loved you after a day? And telling you to be sure you answer the phone? This is a huge red flag that he'll cling like a dryer sheet for the rest of your relationship.

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A female reader, lacrymosa_652 United Kingdom +, writes (6 April 2011):

lacrymosa_652 agony auntHe does seem sort of clingy, maybe even desperate. He said he loves you after ONE DAY [*ahem* sorry] and made you promise that you'd answer.. why wouldn't you answer? He seems a bit paranoid. It seems like girls used the "you're too nice" excuse because he's really sensitive and couldn't handle a harsh truth such as "you're too needy." It's up to you if you want to be with him or continue talking to him, but be warned that he probably IS clingy and if you were with him and wanted to leave him, it'd probably be tricky to break up with him because he'd find it hard to let go. Putting it nicely, lol.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011):

Well, if "love at first sight" still exists, then its entirely possible he does love you already..I guess it really comes down to how long you have known him? If it were longer than a day, maybe he has loved you since he first met you.

I personally wouldnt trust the "i love yous" after one day. Its a sign of deep rooted emotional issues which spells drama and heartache for you.

Also, "girls leave me because Im too nice" sounds like another line designed to draw you in, unless of course you have known him for a while and know this to be true of him.

Bottom line, if you have known him for a while, then its not so creepy for him to be in love with you or admit that girls walk away because he is too nice. If you havent known him but for a day or two, then hit the ground running before things get too crazy and you are sucked in.

Good Luck.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 April 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony aunttalking for a day and he told you he loves you??

THAT'S your cue to walk away not that the 'everyone leaves me because i'm too nice" statement...

He's clingy

He's needy

Run Forest Run!

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A male reader, yesno United States +, writes (6 April 2011):

Yikes. He told you he loves you already? You have two options: run like hell. Or, if you like him, stay. He might actually love you already.

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