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He said the female bartender was hot...while I was standing there. I am upset..what do you think?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi--does anything think this was rude of my b/f?

We were at a club one night with one of his buddies. We got the first round of drinks and then his friend asks my b/f--what do you think of the bartender--not loud or anything but obviously i am standing right there and i can hear them both and my b/f responds saying she's hot. Obviously the friend just wanted my b/f's opinion but i am standing right there and it bothered me so much that he said she's hot. It wasn't like he screamed it and was gawking at her but it made me feel bad just standing there..he never even gives me compliments like that. What do you think?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007):

You can teach him a lesson.

Say out loud that "such and such guy" is hot. If he turns green with envy or looks like he's getting even a wee bit upset, pull him aside and tell him that he did to you was just as bad.

Then kiss him and tell him that if he ever does it again, you'll kick him in the shins. Okay, no advocation of violence here, but really - you don't have to kick him very hard. ;-)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006):

well this happened months ago..so i dont wan't to bring it up now..but sometimes i just feel resentment...another time we were standing on line for a club and one of the guys was there although my b/f doesn't know him well or anything and i didn't even know his name. But the guys were making fun of her or something and then the guy was like you can have her..to my b/f--but it was like ummm you don't see me right here..and my b/f did not say anything..and he is a very out spoken person

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006):

"What do you think?"

I think you should ask your boyfriend what he would think if the situation happened the other way around. Tell him how you feel, not in an accusing way but maybe he just didn't think it would upset you or even thinks he did any thing wrong.

This is an easy situation to get through, just talk to him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006):

I can understand why you feel the way you do, and I think it was rude on his part, when his friend asked what he thought of the girl he should of said something like "I don't know man, why don't you go ask her out or something!" That said I think you can take comfort in the fact that this was instigated by his friend and he did not just start gawking at her I suppose, so maybe he just forgot his manners for a moment, if this is out of character for him maybe let this one slide, but you might say something to him like this, "I really love it when you tell me how nice I look, honey, I love the way it makes me feel and how proud I am to be your girl.."

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (31 October 2006):

Astrid agony auntWOW I think u shouldn't care a damn all men say that sot of things when talking together it's just a way of showing friendship to each other it's not to do with the boy not liking u

forget it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006):

u kno wa gurlie...guyssss are jus thick (no offence)..they cant say the right things to us and yet they can compliment other girls..but i guess u shud take it as a compliment bcuz hes with u..ur the gal hes going out with..so he thinks ur even hotter..i rememba one time..my guy mate..askd my boyf about sum girls sitin right behind um..there was a cuple of girls..and my boyf (widout ny hesitation) sed ..'the girl in the greeeen top is nicceeee'...i was sitin next to him and thought 'hang on! u neva even notice wat im wering half the time and yet u can notice shes werin a green top!!!!' argh it meks me mad..but then agen..us gurls do it too..bu chick..jus feel happy that hes with u...he dedicates himself to u..n thinks ur beta than ny ova gurl..cz hes goin out wid u..if ya stil not sure...ask him one nyt and say 'hey, did u fink daa gurl behind the bar was hotter than me?' n seee his reaction..loll...or maybe u shud point out a hot guy and say 'oh i say..hes got a nice ass' or sumit..see his reaction..dont take it to heart tho..like i sed..guys can be a bit thick!...freind x

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