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He said he just needed a few weeks and now he's using the same lines on her as he used on me!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2013)
A female Australia age 30-35, *amastebitchesxoxo writes:

my boyfriend told me he felt lost so i told him to take some space, he told me we could still talk but just a little (we usually talk all the time nearly 24/7) he said that he didn't know if he loved me anymore and that he just needed a few weeks, he said he still wanted to be together so we didn't break up but he asked me to change his relationship status to its complicated so i did but when i logged on i saw he was flirting with this girl,he had previously told me this girl was just a friend a new message had just come in and i accidently saw it. he was saying the same things to her that he said to me when we first started dating. what do i do? PLEASE HELP!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntSadly, "taking a break" and "I'm confused" are codes here for "there's someone else I'm interested in"

he will say he wants to work it out... keep you around as a backup to whatever happens with this new girl.

be prepared that even if he says he wants to work it out that he may still be "courting" her...

will you trust him when he's not around?

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A female reader, namastebitchesxoxo Australia +, writes (17 January 2013):

namastebitchesxoxo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thankyou I have confronted him about everything and am waiting for a reply, if he has decided not to try work stuff out with me I will be ending it. Thankyou once again for your help. :)

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A female reader, ImmortalPrincess United States +, writes (17 January 2013):

ImmortalPrincess agony auntIt sounds like he has taken an interest in someone else, and just wants to keep you on the hook in case that relationship doesn't pan out.

You don't want to be a string-along, or "the ole sack lunch" that he keeps handy, in case he doesn't get a better offer.

If I were you, I would set your status to single - you be the one to make the break-up official. In my opinion, you're either in a relationship or you're not - there's nothing complected about it. He's already testing the waters with other girls, so he has made his intentions pretty clear.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (17 January 2013):

Yes, I would but it's up to you. In my experience once someone has said the things he said to you the relationship will never be the same. BTW I meant to say it would give YOU closure, not him.

If you really want to be with him (not just because you're hurt and it'd make you feel better) then by all means wait. But I'd start moving on with your life as well. If he decides he made a mistake and he comes back you can take it from there.

Sometimes doing the smart thing is very difficult but it can allow you to start healing right away instead of prolonging your misery.

Good luck!

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A female reader, namastebitchesxoxo Australia +, writes (17 January 2013):

namastebitchesxoxo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks. So you think we should break up officially? :$

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (17 January 2013):

It depends on what you want to do. If you still want to be with him then you can confront him since it doesn't sound like you broke up (officially). He's the only one that knows what he really wants. At the very least it will give him some closure.

However, it does sound like you broke up unofficially. I think the best thing to do is not try to force a relationship that has run it's course.

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