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He put his penis inside me. Am I a virgin?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2009) 13 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2012)
A female Antarctica age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I was on my summer vacation and I was fooling around with the cutest guy and we got naked and all. He fingered me and one thing led to another and umm he put his penis in my vagina (his penis was maybe 9 cm long, I dunno and I'm a virgin, or at least I was...). Now I was a bit drunk, so I don't remember everything clearly. The first time he did it, it didn't fully get in and then then the next time I climbed on top of him and we did it for a minute or two. I'm not sure, but I think he got in fully this time. Now the facts: I was a virgin. I felt zero pain or discomfort. I didn't bleed at all. So now I don't know - am I still a virgin or not? Did I feel no pain because he didn't pop my cherry or I was just one of those lucky girls who don't feel much pain? Also when he fingered me, I didn't feel any pain either.

Can I go to a gynecologist(?) and have her check if I'm still a virgin or..? I really want to know.


Yours shamefully,


View related questions: drunk, still a virgin, vagina

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A female reader, XxGee.a.m.cxX United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2012):

If a guy puts his penis inside you then you are not a virgin. Also there are many reasons why you did not bleed or feel any pain. Yes he may have not broke your hymen when penetrating you if he was extremely gentle or possibly didn't reach your hymen. Your hymen may have been broken before you had sex by doing such non-sexual activities like riding a bike or horse riding. You may have even not been born with a hymen in the first place. But maybe you should see a professional to find out.

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A male reader, akif pansoon Malaysia +, writes (4 March 2011):

The only thing I can say to you is that not every girl's vagina bleeds the first time they have sex, but I'd say to make sure you're okay, you should go and check it out.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009):

Sorry but it doesn't matter how far he goes, once you've had a penis inside your vagina you are not a virgin anymore.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 August 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntSometimes I sing and dance around my house, that doesn't make me Madonna. You are no longer a virgin.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (11 August 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntShes still a virgin if she wants to be a virgin

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009):

Maybe I'm just being overkill here but I thought I'd try to make a clear answer for you.

Different people have different views on what it requires to still be a virgin.

The general idea is that once you have penetrative sex(once a man has entered you with his penis) you are no longer a virgin. So by most people's standards: you are no longer a virgin.

Medically though, as it seems that's really what you're asking about. It's hard to say, so yes I definitely would recommend you see your gynecologist to know for sure.

A couple reasons for why you did not feel pain, discomfort or bleeding could be. If he was just exceptionally gentle, or you were lucky enough to have an exceptionally thin hymen and went fast enough that you didn't notice.

you say he was 9cm, well that's only about 3.5 inches and with the general male average considered to be at 5.5 inches it's possible he wasn't big enough to pop your cherry(unlikely though, he should still be big enough if only a little small). I'd say what's most likely is that if you've ever masturbated you could have broken your own hymen long ago and just not realized it.

Hope I was able to help, best of luck. And yeah, have a professional take a look.

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A male reader, shodogg United States +, writes (3 August 2009):

shodogg agony auntFirst of all people, she said his penis was maybe 9cm long which will be equal to exactly 3.54 inches. With a penis that size he may not have ever gotten it in. I mean did he ejaculate sperm inside you. Also depending on what school of thought you subscribe to, you may or may not still be a virgin . Some believe a finger or toy vibrator can take your virginity as they can certainly pop your cherry and or bring you to orgasm. Others believe if even a penis fails to pop the cherry or bring the vagina to an orgasm that the virginity is essentially intact. I personally believe that when a penis penetrates, pop the cherry (hymen), and bring the vagina to orgasm, that the virginity has indeed been taken.

Yes, do go to a gynecologist right away to get yourself checked out immediately.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009):

no you are not a virgin anymore. once the penis enters the vagina your not a virgin anymore

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (1 August 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntIf you're sexually active, you should see a gynecologist. She or he could tell you if your hymen is intact or not, or if the hymen was even present. Generally, most would agree that penis in vagina means no longer a virgin.

The doctor can also discuss what your various birth and STI control options would be. If you had unprotected sex with a guy who's been around, you might have been exposed to one or more STIs.

Take care of your health and your body. You only get the one.

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A female reader, newbern United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2009):

Oh my god, it sounds like a fantastic moment!

you didnt feel much cos you were obviously well turned on... You lucky thing...for you to say 9 inches long it must have looked it!massive! Enjoy it!!!

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A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland +, writes (1 August 2009):

heartfullalove agony aunt9 cm long exactly! Are you sure?

Try to drink more carefully.

'I'm not sure, but I think he got in fully'...

You not feeling ANYTHING at all suggests to me that he may have 'missed the goal'..I think that if he had gotten fully inside, you would have known all about it (But I'm no expert, not having a pussy - your account of the experience is somewhat cloudy).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009):

Well, the fact that he put his penis inside you, and you "climbed on top of him and we did it for a minute or two." should tell you that you are no longer a virgin. The fact you were "doing it" for a couple of minutes means that you were having sex. So you lost your virginity to this guy. Some girls are lucky, and feel no pain or bleeding. You are one of them. I do hope that you do not look back and regret this drunken sex session. Maybe learn from it for the future.

The fact that you have to ask this question really worries me, as you are obviously not mature enough to be having sex. Did you use contraception? If you didnt (him wear a condom/ or you being on the contraceptive pill) then I STRONGLY suggest that you get to the doctors as soon as possible to take a pregancy test and also an STI test.

UNPROTECTED SEX = BABIES - that is how nature works.

Having unprotected sex with someone you barely know (or even if you do know them well) can lead to pregnancy and possibly life threatening diseases. Chlyamidia can leave you infertile and unable to have children and often has no symptoms. AIDs can KILL you.

If you dont know all the facts, keep your pants on.

Please go and seek professional medical advice.

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A male reader, IamSoConfused United Kingdom +, writes (1 August 2009):

If his penis was inside of you then you are not a virgin. I am sorry if that was not the answer you were looking for.

It didn't hurt you because he probably was not fortunate in the penis department and the reason you didn't bleed was because he didn't break your hymen. That or because you may have already broken it (experimenting, masturbation ect).

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