A
male
age
13-15,
*horty94
writes:am i still a virgin? last night me and this boy were making out on his couch i was on top and he took off my pants and my underwear and then his. at first he was just fingering me and stuff then he put his penus in me and like it hurt really bad im not totaly sure if it went all the way in cuz he said i was really tight and i didnt bleed. we didnt have full intercourse thoght because im not on birth control and we didnt have a condom so we stopped. then a little later i went home and went to the bathroom and looked at my underwear and there was very little discharge on my underwear. [mod note: Could you verify age and gender, please, poster?]
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condom, discharge, fingering, still a virgin, underwear Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, shorty94 +, writes (31 July 2009):
shorty94 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thank u soo much everybody thats helped and is going to help!
A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Everybody knows douching with visine does nothing to prevent pregnancy. I can't believe what guys will try and pass off to get laid. I always have my dates douche with coca cola. We administer it while she stands on her head. You must be standing on your head and remain standing on your head for at least an hour after, for it to be effective. Coke douching performed methodically and systematically, combined with the vasectomy I got in the nineties, gives me and my partners close to one hundred percent reliability in avoiding an unwanted pregnancy.
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (30 July 2009):
If a girl tells me she is a virgin, it is unreasonable for me to conclude that she has never been penetrated by a man. What if the guy that penetrated her achieved orgasm in those very few strokes? She has been penetrated. She has been ejaculated in. She may well be pregnant. And the guy very much enjoyed carnal knowledge of the girl. But because she distanced herself from the experience, she is still entitled to hold herself out as a virgin.
Since my first wife totally immersed herself in watching television through each and every act of intercourse, she could actually tell people that over our twelve year marriage, we never consummated the relationship and expect to be believed.
And if I had walked in on her and another guy, and he had his penis inside her, she may or may not be cheating on me, depending on if the guys performance rises to an acceptable level of vigor that she deems sufficient to cross the threshold into intercourse.
If a girl slipped and fell on a guys penis. And in the excitement remained astride him until they both had an orgasm. One could argue that even though both parties achieved the end that most desire and expect when engaging in intercourse, that since there was no premeditated scheme to enter in to a sexual encounter, this too is not sufficient to be labeled intercourse.
If one of the two has an STD are the bacteria or other pathogens bound to the distinctions made by the girl. And if they are who's responsibility is it to notify them.
Can a pregnancy that resulted be terminated all through and including the last trimester.
Should the Catholic Church be notified of an immaculate conception.
If she sues the guy for child support can he legally be absolved of his duties because he never has sex with her.
Can I kill a person and claim I expedited his death from old age. Where do you draw the line? And will you give the guy the same latitude when his reality doesn't sync up with yours. If you date enough men, one will be caught cheating. What if he says, "I f'ed her, I make love to you". It's still cheating. He isn't even really denying it. But there is no emotion. You shouldn't even be pissed. Will that knock the image of their writhing bodies spilling out on the floor from between sweaty sticky sheets out of your head. His thresh hold of what is a deal breaker just differs from yours. Be careful of how you bend things to suit your need. It's a sword that cuts both ways.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
He put his penis in you, and therefore you are no longer a virgin.
Not a great first time, but it still counts.
Be far more careful though and never let any boy NEAR you with his penis out unless you have condoms, and are turned on, and are ready to have sex and risk pregnancy and have a way of getting the morning after pill.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
 Here are some websites for you to read so that you can educate yourself. That trite old saying, knowledge is power, is very true here. If a guy tells you that douching with Visine will prevent pregnancy, you can tell him where to get off.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm
http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
Hi there, no, you're not still a virgin. You had a penis penetrate your vagina and that is the end of your 'virginity'. Now, if you want to pretend this never happened and you are still a virgin, well, that's up to you.
The problem with that kind of thinking, though, is that it leads to poor choices. Because if you think you can pretend that bad things cannot happen to you, you will get blindsided by them. Wishful thinking is another term for it. I know I was very good at wishful thinking when I was in my teens.
People are told to buckle their seatbelts for a reason. I know of 2 boys, one was 19, the other was 20, they both engaged in wishful thinking, "I'm too good a driver to have an accident." They both died in two separate wrecks 6 month apart. They lived 2 doors away from each other. That means the 20 year old knew that driving without his seatbelt could kill him, because it had happened to the guy only 2 doors down. But he still went out and did it.
When we read stories from our question askers that they had vaginal intercourse without protection, many of us, myself especially, cringe and shake our heads. That's because we see the other posters who come and say things like "I'm only 15 and I think I'm pregnant!" See, they thought that if they only had unprotected sex for a little bit that they wouldn't get pregnanty.
We also get the occasional poster who is very upset because her boyfriend has given her an STI, like for example, genital warts, caused by a type of human papilloma virus. Because this poster believes her boyfriend when he tells her he's clean, but unknown to him, he's infected by the last girl he was with.
So if you want to pretend you're not a virgin, I'm afraid you're heading down a road of making very poor choices. That's my lecture for the day.
So, no, you are not a virgin. Please take good care of yourself. You only get the one body and the one life. It would be a real pity to mess it up because of 5 minutes of unprotected sex.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Phil + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
 You have a vagina. He has a penis. When you get sexually excited your vagina lubricates itself. When he gets sexually excited his penis swells up, gets stiffer and longer. This is so that when the penis is introduced into the vagina it goes in quite smoothly to avoid a situation not unlike trying to push a chain uphill.
If you've not had a penis in your vagina before, you're a virgin. Once you've had a penis in your vagina you are definitely an ex-virgin. Irrespective of whether you had full intercourse, ie - him squirting - you will have lost your virginity. There is no grey area - it is absolutely black and white, you're either a virgin or you're not. In your case you're not.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
 "This isn't neccesserally true"- virginity isn't some vague concept- it has a clear, concise, tangible, and distinct meaning. It's not like abstract art open to interpretation. You can't be a virgin if you've had intercourse. I know- she can classify herself as an emotional virgin I guess. I encourage anyone that doubts this to look up the meaning of virginity- it's anyone that hasn't had intercourse. The meaning of intercourse is "penetration". Therapists would say "denial" is a temporary shield against reality but long-term it's unhealthy. I think as aunts on this site, we should be helping people face reality and come to terms with it- not perpetuating denial. M. Scott Peck, a famous psychiatrist, says denial is the root of all mental illness unless there are genetic factors. I would recommend "The Road Less Traveled".
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A
female
reader, bodylotion +, writes (30 July 2009):
 This isn't neccesserally true, if you don't want to class yourself as you've lost your virginity then you don't simple. Class yourself as what you like darling it's entirely up to you.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (30 July 2009):
How can having intercourse make someone a virgin still?
What distinguishes intercourse from 'full intercourse'? You mean if he only thrusts 3 times instead of 20?
Sweetheart, you lost your virginity, okay?
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A
female
reader, bodylotion +, writes (30 July 2009):
Ok. This all depends on your version of losing your virginity. In my eyes, i would not class this as losing your virginty, however you may see it has you have. You don't always bleed after your first time, sometimes it can take 2 or 3 times before you actually bleed. If you don't want to class this 'fumbling' has losing your virginity then don't.No one can be the judge of your definition of losing your virginity. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, shorty94 +, writes (27 July 2009):
shorty94 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am a girl 15 turning 16 soon
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A
female
reader, Lightningrod +, writes (27 July 2009):
Also, I didn't bleed after my first time. Or my second. Or at all actually so thats not much of an indicator. And women get discharge all the time its unrelated to whether or not you are sexually active it just means you were turned on.
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A
female
reader, Lightningrod +, writes (27 July 2009):
Virginity depends on your definition. Everyone defines it differently. But really, if your age is accurate, and you arent on BC you need to wait until you are at least on the pill. Did you know that precum can actually carry sperm? He doesn't even have to ejaculate inside of you for you to get pregnant. Please be more careful than that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): You sound like you had penetration which is intercourse. Buy some condoms now and talk to someone about birth control/ STD s. Enjoy yourself but only have sex when YOU want it. Boys will try to do it every time. They can't help it. They are just wired for breeding so don't let them breed you unless you want it. Girls just get too hurt emotionally when there is no relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Lol, i suspect you're not male. And if you are, then i think in order for you to lose yours, you gotta put your penis in someone else!
But assuming you are not:
I don't think discharge is related at all to losing your virginity.
I think this one is up to you. I see virginity as more than just intercourse. I know by definition that's all it is, but if a girl was raped, i think she would have to right to say "screw that. I'm still a virgin. That didn't count."
It sounds like you didn't expect him to put it in? Did you consent? If you didn't bleed, your hymen didn't break, i think if you want to be a virgin still, it would be fair to consider yourself one.
~Sy.
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