A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedlover10
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 9mths now, and he has recently cheated on me. the whole time we were together, he always promised that he would never ever cheat on me, and if so then he would break up with me first. since he has cheated on me, this has put me in a very tough situation because i dnt know if i want to forgive him and take him back, or just leave. i know he's very sorry about what he did because i can see it in his eyes, and this was the first time that he has ever cried since we've been together, well at least in front of me. i dont want to leave him because i feel very attached to him and i think the reason for this is because i let him take my virginity. but at the sametime, everytime i look at me or even think about the situation, it disgusts me. the more i think about it, i begin to feel sick to my stomach =/ i told him that i would give him a 2nd chance and that we could start over, but at the sametime i feel as though there is no point. i've done countless things for him out of love and out of the kindness of my heart and he never appreciated one bit of it. i was there for him for every single thing that he has been through since we've been together, and for him to cheat on me is just a slap in the face. i feel disrespected, hurt and i feel like shit because i basically dedicated my life along with my whole freshmen year of college to our relationship and for him to piss it all away makes me feel like he never cared. i also feel like i made my decision for us to start over way too fast. i made this decision yesterday which makes it a week and a half ago since the incedent. now that he has cheated on me, i feel like a different person almost, like i dont need him like i once thought i did.
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female
reader, confusedlover10 +, writes (19 May 2011):
confusedlover10 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i told him we could start over because i really do love him and everything that has been said up here from all of you guys is true. i appreciate everything that has been said and i think i will take the advice and get of him. i told him that we could start over not only because i love him but because i could really really tell that he was hurt by what he did, not because he got caught, but because he hurt the only person that loves him. however, there is a part of me that wants him to suffer like hell and i think the best way to make this possible is to just leave him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Rule of thumb, you can make your own, but this is my advice.BF or GF cheats, move on, let them work out their issues and why they cheat on their own, and don't let them hurt you while they do it.Married, no children, spouse cheats, decide carefully if it is worth it to go on and have children possibly with a cheater, but really think hard about staying with someone who cheats on you.Married, with children, spouse cheats, work hard to understand, work hard to figure it all out and work hard to do the right thing by the children and all involved, but don't be a doormat or stay with a serial cheater.People cheat because of something lacking in them, not in the person they cheat on.
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A
female
reader, HoneyEyedLatina +, writes (19 May 2011):
 He is soo not worth it. There are other guys out there that will worship the ground you walk on and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Not all men cheat and there is absolutely no good reason to stay with this guy. Sure he could do counseling and make promises to never cheat again but that's highly doubtful. *sarcastic tone* Maybe he could repent with God and become a Christian? Nah he will still be tempted and end up cheating. lol He sucks!Not only that but he made a promise not too long ago and he already broke it. What does that tell you? That tells me that it was just all talk. Actions speak louder than words and obviously he did not take this relationship serious. You deserve so much better and if you get get back with him you will always worry that he will cheat again. There will be major trust issues so it will be hard for you to be happy. Let it go and start over fresh. Dump the zero and get yourself a hero! lol
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 May 2011):
 He cried because he got caught.
If you want to give him a second chance, go for it. Jsut don't expect him to never do it again.
PS I don't think you NEED him, you like the idea of a relationship, and the idea of the guy you thought he was.
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A
female
reader, nicolelee76 +, writes (18 May 2011):
Of course you don't like him the same as you did. He betrayed you! How are you supposed to trust this person again? He lied to your face! Another question is, does he feel bad because he did it or because he got caught and now he's afraid to lose you? He should have thought of that first! Personally, I would leave him.
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (18 May 2011):
That he has put so much emphasis on 'not cheating' possibly shows it has crossed his mind several times before, people should just KNOW their partner wouldn't cheat and it's an unspoken rule.
You clearly dont want this guy back he has been the one to ruin the relationship and now he needs to face the consequences.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 May 2011):
He promised he'd never cheat, and he cheated within 9 months. It didn't take him that long to cheat, did it? Worse, you've now told him that you'll give him a second chance - now he knows he can cheat and get away with it.
Realistically, this relationship has already failed. He's proved himself to be a total waste of time, and more worryingly, you seem to have resigned yourself to accepting bad treatment by allowing important promises to be broken and then forgiving with no thought.
I suggest you end it with him and spend some time working out what you want from a relationship. You don't want to wind up always choosing lousy men and accepting bad treatment.
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