A
female
age
36-40,
*taunton5410
writes:Ok, I love my boyfriend very much and he loves me too. we have an apartment together and sometimes one of his friends and his brother comes over to play computer games. Once they get there that is all he does and I feel really left out and kinda jealous because he is doing all this stuff with them and doesnt even pay any attention to me. Then I decide to go to bed and he stays up with them until 4 or 5 in the morning and then comes to bed. Should I be jealous about this or am I just being a big baby?
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female
reader, elsie  +, writes (15 May 2007):
 at least hes not off somewhere else.you know where he is hes not upto anything hes just having fun.as long as it doesnt interfere with any other aspects of your relationship then try and either join in or do your own thing.believe me there are a lot worse things that you could be worried about.go easy.
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (15 May 2007):
 Hi jtaunton,
Ha! That sounds like my husband! ^_^
Anyway - I don't think you should be jealous, and I certainly don't think you're being a baby. I think maybe you wouldn't feel the way you do if you were part of the fun he was having, as well.
Have you tried to play the video games with them? If you don't like the ones that he is playing, maybe see if he's willing to play other sorts of games that you *would* be interested in. There are tons of variety when it comes to video games, and I'm sure your boyfriend would be thrilled if you asked his opinion of what games he thinks you would like. As for me (and I really don't like video games) I absolutely *love* playing the Katamari games (!!!). Maybe this is more your speed, too? http://katamari.namco.com/ And it's not just a girl game, my husband and I have played it for hours together, too. And I've even gotten my brother-in-law to play!
Oh!, And that reminds me, I saw this for the first time just a few months ago and sent it to my husband - he called it "internet gold." Maybe your boyfriend should give it a read: http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Girlfriend-to-Play-Video-Games ^_^
But even if you don't enjoy playing video games, even the games like Katamari, have you considered hanging out with your guy and his friends just to watch? Maybe pop some popcorn, grab some drinks, sit back and enjoy the company. This is what I always do, and I usually end up having a good time regardless of what game they are playing.
If you would rather not do any of this, then perhaps you could do something else while your boyfriend takes his "me" time to do things that he enjoys. Is there anything that you would like to do that he doesn't like? Maybe watch a movie that he hates but that you really love. Put together a scrapbook, make music, or even invite your own friends over. They key is not to be so dependant on your guy that you're emotionally crushed if he wants to do something without you. You should want to have your own things you want to do sans boyfriend, as well! ^_^ That's another part of how healthy relationship thrive.
But if you feel he is getting together too frequently and blocking you out of his life almost entirely, then I think maybe you should both have a discussion of how many times there are get togethers. Maybe even make certain nights your date and/or snuggle nights! That would be fun in itself to plan out, don't you think?
Anyway - try to turn this into a positive experience, okay? If you don't, it's just going to keep eating away at you. And there's no reason you can't have fun while he's hanging out with his buddies. But if it's taking over your lives, like I said, by all means you should talk to your guy.
Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007):
He just wants to spend time with his friends
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