A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a FWB relationship with a guy that turned out to get very complicated. Our timing was never right and although we had feelings for each other we never got our relationship under control. I feel like at different times we truly loved each other but we couldn't get it together.When we met he was a friend's ex. I didn't want to be a rebound. Soon another of my friend's had feelings for him but he did not like her. So now I had two friends that didn't want me to date him. I started seeing a friend of his and he starting dating yet a third friend of mine. Then I stopped seeing his friend and my friend broke it off with him.Good timing, right? Wrong. We tried to fly under the radar being FWB but our feelings got all tangled up. At first, he told me I was the one he wanted to marry but he wasn't ready to commit himself to me yet. Fine, I moved on. Then he came back to me soon and told me he was ready to make things serious with us but I was then afraid he would hurt me again so I pushed him away. Or I tried to but I still had feelings for him so I asked him on an official date in which we started to come together. The next day he was suppose to call and didn't. That evening he brought another girl to a party when he knew I would be there.I felt like I just lost my best friend and my chance for "us" at once. He got serious with her but it didn't last and I got serious with some one else. Two years later I was engaged to my boyfriend but still had feelings for my friend. I went to him to tell him I was getting married and we talked all night. I needed to see if there was anything there before I married some one else. He called me a week later asking me if I was happy and if I realy wanted to marry that guy because he always thought we'd get married. I couldn't talk honestley with my fiance standing behind my back so I brushed him off. I called him the next day and asked him to meet me so we could talk and he agreed but stood me up.So years later I am married with kids and find him on myspace. He is eager to talk to me but after I messaged him back telling him still married but glad to know he is doing well he doesn't respond and I don't hear from him for a year. I messaged him and told him I was sorry for the times I pushed him away and how I treated him some times. He told me he would always care for me and then didn't speak to me for another year! Until recently he asked if he could see me out of the blue. I let him have it. I told him about all the crap we have been through and that I would see him as long as he knew I was faithful to my husband. He didn't respond as usual. Can any one tell me what his deal is? He could have been the one but it seemed doomed from the start. I have always cared for him, always carried a torch for him but I hate having my heart played with. I can't understand why he would bother with me if he didn't care but I don't understand why he could and still can't follow through. To make matters worse my husband and I are on the rocks for unrelated reasons and I can't stop thinking about the one that got away.Can any one talk some sense into me? I feel foolish and I need to hear the truth but he won't talk to me. Thanks to any one who can get through my long complicated mess and who might have a few words for me no matter how brutal.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): I don't think he cares for you.. infact I think he is just looking to see if he can score with you after all these years. Let him go. Forget him and do NOT attempt to keep in touch with him. He is just another guy from your past. You feel this way about him because you were never able to have a 'proper' relship with him in all these years.
Maybe his interest in him is also just that? You are going through a rough patch in your marriage. You are vulnarable. At a time like this, anything forbidden seems sweetest. I think you should concentrate on your marriage and kids. Even if you did meet this guy and end up sleeping with him, it will be just that. Some nights of passion and then you won't know what to do with each other. And you would've lost your husband in the bargain. Is that what you want?
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