A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for around 3 years.We work together and it consists of long hours and not much fun.All it ever seems is our relationship evolves round the job, he only comes near me for sex, when i just want comfort I don't get it, we dont go out and he tried to forget my birthday til i went moody and refused to talk to him and then he put £50 on my bedside table.He is a man's man, and he used to hug me at first and look after me, now its more like a 'work' relationship 24/7. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, superhoopschick  +, writes (7 October 2007):
 I agree with duck...I use to be in a relationship where a guy did that to me. always came over for sex. He would say caring words but never meant it. we dated for years...In the end I would care because he didnt care. I wish it would have gone back to the beginning when we were new and fresh of love.
But face it, once you been together so long you know so much about each other, its impoosible to do. Try writing your feelings down on paper of what u would like to say to him. Next leave the protected note on his car or somewhere he can find it. At the end of the note put lets talk about this..love..so n so.
It will get his attention and you will not be ruining your relationship but instead saving it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Right. After some thought, I beleive that he was using you the whole time. It was a simple "gain your fondest love" then simply use you in anyway he wanted. So all I could recommend is that you dump his sorry ass and never trust him again. And it will probably be hard to do this (emotionally). So, good luck with the guy, whatever you decide. I hope you decide to let him go.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (7 October 2007):
 My really great cousin once told me "what you tolerate becomes your standard." If you haven't told him that this is NOT alright, then he's going to assume things are just peachy. I agree 100% with "baby duck"; talk to him. Let him know that you don't feel loved, and until you do, you don't want sex again. (You're not going to "put out" until it's "making love.") Tell him this isn't a power play, it's trying to return the relationship to balance. Right now it's too one sided.
It may be that he is happy this way and won't change. If that's the case, you'll have to leave him. You deserve much better. And never tolerate this kind of treatment (from him or from anyone) again.
Good luck hon.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): sorry to be the heartbreak kid, and its probabally hard to take advice from me seen as i'm only 17. but it sounds like this lads a complete prick. i dont think you should stay together. after all, you could end up getting hurt and heart broken.but make sure you make your mind up! don't take other peoples thaughts and feelings into this. you need to make sure its your decision, not other peoples oppinions influencing it
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (6 October 2007):
You should show more self respect and ditch him for a guy who will treat you better.
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