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He only has time to date once a week. Should I take it or leave it?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 September 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2016)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hello am a 48 year old woman, met a guy a couple of times from a dating site, we get along really good, we both want a relationship, our profile said, my guestion is he told me that he only has time for one day a week, we both work the same ours, but he goes to the gym to work out three times aweek, he says take it or leave it, he says it won't ever change, so should i stay seeing him one day week, i want more, i already like this guy a lot, but i want you know maybe two days a week, we only live 15 minutes from each other, should i stay or should i go

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2016):

It's the fact that he TOLD you to take it or leave it. How charmless and arrogant. I don't know about you, but I can't stand arrogance. He may as well have said 'You are last on my list of priorities and I don't care if you know that'. For you to carry on seeing him, says to HIM, 'Yes, that's fine, treat me like I don't matter, I'm fine with that.'

He will laugh up his sleeve at you for accepting this crumb of his time and attention.

Enjoy it when you tell him you're gonna most definitely leave it :-)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2016):

Please don't lower yourself to becoming this guy's blow up doll on call.

It's painfully obvious he's got a few of them he is juggling alongside you.... IF you let him.

You know what you do with trash? Take it to the curb.

You know exactly what you have to do.

Never settle for less than you deserve. Having no man is better than this jerk.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (21 September 2016):

CindyCares agony auntI'd say, leave it. If you already know that you would be unhappy with just once a week, and that he won't make any changes, why do you want to waste time on something that's less than you want even before starting ?

It would be different if you already had a good ,true -and- tried relationship which then for work or other reasons has to become an once-a-week thing. Then, it would be sensible of you tryng to adjust your wants and needs to the current changes, in order to keep a valuable thing going.

But you do not even know the guy, so why should you try to adjust without even knowing what you are getting into ? It's simpler and better to keep looking for someone that's more on the same page as you .

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 September 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly? Once a week would be great if you were looking for a friend to hang out with. You are not. You are looking for a partner, lover, a relationship.

And for him to say, take it or leave it - to me that is like saying I don't care what YOU want. I live my life and you are not that important to me, I can always replace you. I don't think he is looking for a relationship. He is looking for a weekly roll in the hay, maybe a little company.

I'd wish him well and tell him you want more than he can offer and you aren't going to settle. Then CUT the contact/ BLOCK and move on.

I totally agree with chigirl, I'd look for a guy who WANTS to see you, be around you, do things with you etc. Not someone who can only pencil you in Thursdays for some dinner and sex.

You are WASTING your time, emotions and energy on this on. So what that you already like him a little? It's only been a couple of dates. They will be memories sooner rather than later.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2016):

Hi

Sound like this guy has another woman! i go gym 3 time a week too but i still have time to see my girlfriend even if im tired! i mean you can see him after the gym and even sleep over! dont settle for this crap move on even if he is good looking!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (21 September 2016):

chigirl agony auntIf you need more than once a week, trust me, there are going to be other guys out there who you also like a lot. If once a week is too little for you, it's better to let this man go, or else you will just end up miserable and single again in not too long. So what's the point? Unless you want to give it a go and have some fun with that great body of his once a week. I mean, it must be a great body if he puts this much work into it. Then again, could be he is a lousy lover and there's no point either way.

If I was you, I'd leave it and look for someone more willing to cater to MY needs, lol. I absolutely hate being the girl, sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. And what do you know, suddenly his plans change and you can't meet up that ONE DAY either, and then it's two weeks or more until you see him again.

This man doesn't need/want a relationship, no matter what he's telling himself. He needs an on call lover, that's what he needs. Someone who is too busy for a relationship themselves. And that isn't you.

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