A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all! I'm a 24 year old gay guy, that is for the most part closeted but have come out to a few at work and in forums. I have finally accepted that I’m gay, but not quiet ready to announce it to the world. I don’t have a family so that’s not an issue about coming out to them. The question I have is about heartbreak. I met my boyfriend (32) online 5 years ago and instantly relocated and moved in with him. Everything was great at first until about 2 years into it. We stopped having sex and a year after that he also chose to have his own bedroom. He is my first relationship (as bizarre as it sounds). He has become my best friend in life and I’m so in love with him, and I've stuck around with him for so long in hopes of a change. He was the one to suddenly stop having sex. I’m so into him sexually and I love everything about him, but I can’t even hug or kiss him goodnight without him being frustrated or irritable when I do. I know I'm an idiot for accepting this to be the man that I love and want to be with but even when I try to build the confidence to go out and find a guy that likes me as much as I like him.. I always start feeling the heartache of leaving my Boyfriend and I start missing him. We live together and I can’t afford to move out on my own, neither can he. We live together as Great friends, but he says once he has become friends with someone, he doesn’t want to have sex with them! I don’t understand his thinking. Is there anybody out there, that can give me a kick in the butt or at least some advice that will help me be able to move on or at least stay as friends (roommates) but start dating. I don’t think it’s right nor am I able to date a new guy and bring him back to me and my X's home. I’m seeing a counselor and everything trying to work stuff out and my Boyfriend even came with me to the first session but we then found out that "my boyfriend is Fine and content with how our relationship is" so the counselor only wants to see me now. Hope I didn’t rant in this post, but I’m seriously all messed up in this heartache and since I've relocated I still don’t know anybody comfortably enough to discuss this with. Thanks for any suggestions.
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female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (11 September 2009):
 You are in a very difficult situation, emotionally. It is time to move on and that is really difficult to do when you are living together. It seems he is very clear in what he wants/doesn't want; and he doesn't want a boyfriend type relationship.
Your words are even contradicting, it sounds as if you knew you guys are not together but then you still call him your boyfriend. If I was in your shoes, I'd try to find a way to move out, maybe another housemate!? You need time to accept your loss and grieve. Maybe then you can be the type of friend he wants you to be! There are other people out there who could make you happy and give you what you need in a relationship.
Best of lucks!
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