A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've been dating X for a little over a month, while we are dating exclusively we are taking it slow and are not in a relationship yet.He's a super nice and overall great guy, our dates are fun, he respects my space and I feel it's going great... Except for one thing, he never asks me anything about myself.I ask him tons of questions and listen to him tell me his stories but he in turn never asks me anything. Or when I do volunteer information he makes non-committal comments and seems disinterested. Physically, he's very affectionate and is always wanting to cuddle or touch but our conversations seem either shallow or about him. Am I expecting to much since it's so early in the dating? P Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2019): I don't think there is any connection between you. If he really cared anything about you, he'd want to know more about you. You're highly perceptive!
How can you develop feelings for someone if you don't know anything about them? You should bear in-mind that just because he talks about himself, that doesn't necessarily make it all true. He could be telling you whatever you want to hear.
If its all about him, then there will be no relationship.
I think this is a red-flag, and an indication that he will be controlling and domineering as a partner. You will be silent and submissive. All the good qualities you've described could be an act. Your discernment has captured some important flaws in his character.
When conversation is shallow, and you're rarely the topic. He's got but one thing on his mind. SEX!
Swipe to the left, sweetheart! Next please!
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 August 2019):
 It's only been a month.
So you two don't REALLY know each other that well. My guess is he has LITTLE experience in dating seriously. He can do the initial stuff like being nice, setting up FUN dates, but REALLY getting to know you as a person and actually letting you in, he doesn't know how to do. Maybe because HE is shallow or just inexperienced.
There are more ways than one, to get to know a person. Just spending time with them doing things can be very telling.
He doesn't sounds like a good fit for you. You want/need more back and forth. He is happy with just talking about himself. What does that tell you? That he is more busy "selling" himself to you than getting to know you.
I think it's UP to you now, to decide if you want this "slightly" one-sided thing or not. You COULD mention it to him, but then it would come naturally for him to be curious about WHO you are.
I'd let this one go. He might be "great on paper" but he is lacking in the emotional and social department when it comes to a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (9 August 2019):
 Is this how you want your future relationship to be? I am guessing not. Trouble is, he will not change. He is who he is. He is only interested if HE is talking, a "Me-Me" as I would call him. He is not interested in you, hence will not ask you questions or even listen properly when you talk.
Next time you are out, perhaps you could ask him how he thinks the dating is going? When he has told you, whether he asks for your input or not, you need to tell him what you have posted, that you feel like he is only interested in talking but not in listening. Perhaps list a few things you know about HIM, the ask him whether he knows the same things about YOU (unless you have volunteered that information).
I have met a lot of people like him and, sadly, they don't change. When pulled up, they will pretend to listen to you, even make an effort for a short while to ask questions, but, invariably, they revert back to who they really are.
Sorry to sound brutal but I have little patience or tolerance of "Me-Me" people. Just imagine spending the rest of your life having to listen to him but being made to feel like your opinions and feelings are irrelevant and totally unimportant.
You know you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 August 2019):
 Are you expecting too much by thinking your boyfriend should treat you the way you treat him? No!
If you want this relationship to grow you need to talk to him, ask him straight out "do you realise you never seem interested in hearing about me, sometimes our conversations seem shallow."
See how he reacts, if he immediately denies or demands examples rather than asking for clarification he is probably not going to change. A lot of men are accustomed to relationships being all about them, especially those who were raised in a traditional household where it appeared the father held all the cards.
Explain to him you are wanting a partner who recognises that you too have things you would like to talk about and stories to relate. There are lots of guys who have got the memo, especially in your age range, so if he isn't prepared to LISTEN then consider throwing this fish back and trying again.
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