A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my huband masterbate in bed right beside me .is this normal? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dnew2984 +, writes (3 February 2015):
I am 30 years old, my husband is 40, we have been married for 6 years, he does that very often, I always want to have sex, but he seems to enjoy it best Alone. We have sex about once a week, and is great when we have it, he has sex with himself every day, next to me, the bed shaking and I am just there. Is horrible I don't know what to do. I am always looking good, and all, its frustrating.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks u guys for your honesty. i undestand a little better now.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011):
This:
"I want to have sex with you but you don't really seem interested so I am going to take care of my sexual needs myself, but I shouldn't have to be doing this because you are supposed to want to have sex with me, and I am not happy about it, so I am going to do it in front of you so that you know I am not getting my sexual needs met!"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): I do that but only really after my advances are rejected. My girlfriend doesn't mind mostly but sometimes she can be really tired and it annoys her, so I just go off and finish somewhere else. Sometimes she changes her mind and does it for me or we have sex.
It's whatever you're both comfortable with. If you don't mind then yeah it's normal, if you find it rude then just say that to him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): I wouldn't say it was common, and I wouldn't call it necessarily abnormal behaviour either, it depends on your relationship and your sexual relationship together. In general though, this would be considered unusual behaviour and I strongly suspect he is trying to communicate something to you, send you a message.
If I was to guess, I would say that it is a way of your husband saying to you "I want to have sex with you but you don't really seem interested so I am going to take care of my sexual needs myself, but I shouldn't have to be doing this because you are supposed to want to have sex with me, and I am not happy about it, so I am going to do it in front of you so that you know I am not getting my sexual needs met!"
In my opinion, for him to do it in your presence like this is very agressive. Passive agressive. The fact that you don't know what it means to him seems to indicate that you aren't communicating about it. Ask him, find out what it means to him? Don't assume that the meaning that you have concluded from it, or the one I have suggested, are what he means by it, they probably aren't correct in matching his thoughts and feelings on the matter. Communicate.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 Yep! IF it annoys you leave the room.otherwise help him out
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): My bf does this sometimes too. I don't think it's a major big deal. It's usually cos he needs a release but is too tired or cont be bothered to have sex. It does annoy me sometimes and sometimes I say so, and we have sex instead. On the one hand, I think it's good that someone feels so comfortable to be able to do that in a relationship. On the other, too comfortable is not necessarily a good thing and it is a little 'lazy' too.
How I work it is I let him get on with it sometimes; my bf quite often takes a long time to orgasm so I need to understand that soemtimes he needs a quick release and having intercourse will just be frustrating for him cos he won't be able to 'get there.'
You are obviously uncomfortable with it but I dont think you need to be.
All men masturbate whether they are in a relationship or not, so in a sense it makes sense that he would do it when you are there too. I wouldnt make a big deal of it, that will probably annoy him and also make him feel ashamed.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 Everybody has different opinions on what is normal and what is not. It is quite normal for a man to masturbate no matter what age he is. Some men like to do this in a private environment while others like to share it with others, it is all to do with preference I guess. If it bothers you though then I think you should talk to him about it and ask him why he feels the need to do it. Do you both have a healthy sex life? Maybe this is his way of relief of stress or anxiety. Talk to him about it and see what he says. Good Luck.
...............................
|
