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He made me sleep with him and now I'm pregnant! Help!

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 October 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, not really sure how to say this, I am 15 and slept with a guy a while a go, I didn't want to because I knew a)he was sleeping around, and b)he had just broken up with his girlfriend. He made me in the end saying he was going to tell everyone and that he would send people after em if I didn't. Now I am pregnant and am too scared to tell him. Please help :-(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008):

I would like to suggest that before checking with the 'Child Support Agency' as the last poster advised, you can also consider the option of termination. Abortion is not a nice thing for any woman to go through and a tough decision to make at the best of times, but you have been raped, and at a very young age. I don't know if having a baby would be the best thing for you, it's something you need to think about very seriously. I really hope you have a decent relationship with your mother, or older sister or even a nice teacher at school. You need some support here so you can go to the police, press charges against this abusive man and equally important seek medical advice about your health. It is a very good idea to get checked for sexually transmitted diseases, but dont worry yourself too much, as you only had sexual contact once, and while there's a chance you may have picked some infection up, that could be treated relatively easy. However it would be very unlikely and very unlucky to have contracted a serious disease from this one off incident.

You're going to have to be strong, but there will be people to help you through this and you can do it.

Keep us updated!

Lots of luck and love.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

PS: Depending on the age of the guy, you can definitely get him jailed for "having sex with a minor" and he could be placed on the "sex offenders register" if you feel like you have been wronged. Talk to you mother, she's the one that needs to sort all this out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

Hi Babes,

I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation, obviously no protection (condoms) were used, have you been to the doctor or did you do a pregnancy test yourself. If this guy sleeps around he may already have a sexual disease and he may have passed it to you, so please make an appointment to see your doctor.

Right, now I don't know if you can go to the police because I'm not sure if this is actually a case of rape. You need to provide us with much more details. How old is this guy. Under which circumstances did you meet. Is he somebody a school, did you meet him online, is he a stranger?

You did not want to sleep with him and you made this clear. You say he threatened you, but I don't really understand why you slept with him? What power dose he hold over you, what secrets dose he know?

"He made me in the end saying he was going to tell everyone and that he would send people after em if I didn't."

What would he tell everyone, and why would you care? What people was he going to send, and what and who were they gonna hurt. Unfortunately you are not very clear in your question. More details are needed to help you out. At the moment this is a case of blackmail and threatening behaviour, but to be rape there should be an element of force and I'm not sure if threats count. Please update your post and give more details..

Before you worry about how your gonna tell him anything, I suggest you first go and talk to your mother. You present as aged 15 (underage) and currently living in the UK. It is your mothers support and advice you should be looking for. Dealing with this guy should come last of all. Since he is obviously a very nasty character, and you have stated you don't want a relationship with him. I would tell him in a letter and then tell the CSA (child maintenance) people about him. There is no real reason for you to be in contact with this guy at all, especially if he has threatened you and blackmailed you. I suggest you stay far away and only approach him if you have another adult or friend with you.

Please update your situation, let's see if we can provide more support and advice to help you out. More details are definitely needed, before proper advice can be given.

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A male reader, Dr. Reality Check United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2008):

Dr. Reality Check agony auntThis is rape. Go to the police IMMEDIATELY!

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A female reader, x..BabyGirl..x United Kingdom +, writes (12 October 2008):

x..BabyGirl..x agony auntYou've been raped. RAPED. His raping of you has implanted a child in your womb. Tell your mother, she'll react less badly, your father is quite likely to go round a rip him to pieces!

You need to report this to the police. He needs to be locked away for not only rape, but statutory rape as well. He'll go to prison for a long time.

Keep us updated and good luck

Becky x

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (12 October 2008):

yum yum agony auntHi dear, you need to take action NOW!. He blackmailed you for having sex. That is a very serious offence. Go to the police and tell your parents right away. If possible go to the police with your parents or an adult that you know well.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

I advise you to please tell the cops...do not let this creep get away with his actions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

You really need to tell the authoritites or your parents or someone. How old is he? Also, this is what you'd call rape. He's raped you. If you didn't want to fuck with him and he made you, then you have a right to tell someone and get retribution. Also, don't tell him yet, seeing what he's done in the past, you need to tell the cops or someone first.

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