A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Last week, a guy told me that he liked me. I didn't really have feelings for him, but now when I think about it, he makes me happy and I think I'm starting to like him.. The problem is, this week our friends started playing a game of 'who you'd marry, kiss or kill'. Last week, they asked him that and he said he'd marry me. But this week, whenever he's asked that he'll always say he'll kill me instead. This is sounds stupid but really I don't understand. My friend was also asking who he likes more, me or another girl and he said her. And today I kinda insulted him. Is things like falling out just over a weekend? =/ Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 May 2015):
 He is probably trying to NOT single you out. If he singles you out too much he will get teased by his male peers.
Don't take that game personal. Next week you might even BE in the line up of marry, kiss, kill. It's NOT a serious game at all and CERTAINLY not one for YOU to take serious. IT just shows you how fickle BOYS your age are.
And like Auntie Cindy said, you have WAY too high expectations for boys your own age. They are FAR behind girls in maturity an even further behind in common sense.
I also agree that it is NOT to early to feed you some "feminist" stuff! YOUR world should NEVER revolve around a boy or what he thinks or wants. BE your own person FIRST and foremost. Be known for what you are GOOD at, not for being some dude's GF.
Don't let it get to you and honestly AVOID getting your friends involved in it. Shake it off. My personal advice? DON'T let him know that he let you down or hurt your feelings. IF he WAS your BF then yes, I would let him know, but he is not... He is "nothing" more then JUST another boy.
This guy is like a squirrel who JUST discovered an oak tree, full of ACORNS everywhere (aka girls) so of course he is not going to focus on ONE acorn when there is a whole school full of them, he may simply not even be capable of that... yet.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 May 2015):
 Sweetheart ,it's just a silly game. Same as he does not literally want to kill you ( hopefully ) he did mot mean he literally wanted to marry you.
He is just discovering... girls. A whole new world. Last week he liked you and he was sincere, I bet, in telling this, and this week he likes the other girl too amd he is sincere too.
It's not just that at his age boys ( and girls ! ) are notoriously fickle and you can't expect " committment ", it's more... the kid in the candy store syndrome. He enters in this new alluring shiny exciting place where first he was not even admitted- and there are candy canes and gummi bears and Hersey's kisses and toffee..... everything looks appealing and his preferences will change fast, and / or go back and forth between things.
Don't take it personally. Yes, it would have felt more flattering having been complimented because you are " the one " , THE special , unique girl- rather than because you are A pretty girl that caught his eye. But, I think you are really expecting too much from a boy his age, unless you chance into some extraordinarily mature specimen :).
You are going to get many more compliments from other boys... and you are going to face more wishy-washiness in future , I warn you :). It's part of growing up.
That's why I feel that at your age, particularly if you are just 13 or 14, it's better not to think in terms of "couple" or " dating " yet. Keep just hanging out in group, and being friends, and let things develop slowly and naturally, if someone in time will catch "real " and not candy-store feelings , you will see it and know it , don't worry .
As for being special : you are special, there's only one specimen of you ! Maybe it's early to start with this "feminist " sruff, but.... don't ever seek the confirmation of your value and importance ONLY through the eyes of a man. Ever. You are special because you are born special, and because you can make yourself special by excelling at something - academics would be best ... but twerking , or nail art, will do, LOL ! Kidding: my point is, get to know yourself, what you want , what you like, where you want to be in life, and start working toward that.... that will make you special in your own eyes. Then, approving stares from boys will be a pleasant, added bonus, not THE thing to live and die for !
...............................
|
