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He made a bet to take my virginity, I found out and hit him

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 June 2009) 15 Answers - (Newest, 24 June 2009)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My `boyfriend` is 23 and im 17

I recently gave my ``boyfriend`` my virginity (we both wanted it). Well I fonud out he made a bet with his friends that he could have get me drunk and have sex with me on his birthday. I was so mad that I punched him (I have some anger problems) and stormed crying. What should I do?

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A female reader, nataliehouse United Kingdom +, writes (24 June 2009):

this guy sound like a total loser. its not your fault, you had every right to be angry and upset. he may be older than you but he is obviously very immature. at least you will be able to spot a jerk like this in the future.

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A male reader, Skellington United States +, writes (13 June 2009):

Skellington agony auntBitchin! He needed it definately.

As to what to do you could either:

A) Tell him he was a fat sack of douche and try to work it out.

or

B) Tell him he was a fat sack of douche, punch him again, and leave.

or really, any combonation of the two, it might work.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009):

well done! he got what he deserved,

im not quite sure what the question is as there isnt much to do just move on with your life and learn from your mistakes x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

You shouldn't have had sex with him. Now you know why. Just because you "want" something doesn't mean you should "do" it.

If you had waited until marriage (as I did), this wouldn't even be a problem. Better luck next time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

this guy is lucky he got away with just his hurt pride (by you punching him).

now plse tell everyone how he couldn't get it up and how unsatisfied you were. (lol)

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (11 June 2009):

TasteofIndia agony auntAmen, Cerebus!!! I couldn't say it better...

Though I will say this, you showed great restraint. I would have kicked him in the boys. What an asshole!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

What did you do? You gave this guy what he deserved!

He was an immature and total ass hole and very unfair to you. It was a bad way to lose your virginity however you will get over it and find someone who actually cares about you and wont do anything stupid like that again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

You go girl.

I don't really see your dilemma though. You don't have to do anything! Punch him again maybe...

But do be more careful on the future in making sure you really, really know the person you're with.

~SY.

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A male reader, mytwocents United States +, writes (11 June 2009):

mytwocents agony auntThis was definitely an a-hole, immature move, though it doesn’t necessarily mean you were used or that having sex with him for the first time meant nothing. Presumably, you had enough good experiences with him to WANT him to be your first in the first place.

As barbaric (and sort of gross) as it sounds, men instinctually enjoy the feeling of a “conquest.” And, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just like how girls instinctually like the feeling of being pursued by a quality guy. Speaking as a man, there’s nothing quite like getting with a girl that you’ve wooed and persuaded, and have “won” over with your ingenuity and other qualities. It adds an indescribable excitement and sense of accomplishment to being with the girl, even if you really like her (not just lust after her like a piece of meat).

Some guys handle this natural impulse in a civilized, mature way and just enjoy it quietly. You just feel good about yourself and about getting something you really wanted. Others do things like make a big show about it and brag to their friends. It’s lame and childish.

Maybe this guy really likes you, but he’s just acting like an immature twit. It could have been a temporary lapse of judgement or a reflection of his character. I’d say this is definitely two strikes against him. He's on serious probation.

He either shows evidence that he’s going to grow up (fast) or I'd show him the door.

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A female reader, bobbles32 Canada +, writes (11 June 2009):

bobbles32 agony auntCerberus, rather. lol

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A female reader, bobbles32 Canada +, writes (11 June 2009):

bobbles32 agony aunti agree with both rythm & blues and cerberum, but i just wantet to add :

HIGHFIVE! for giving him what he dserved.

and I'm really sorry that you lost your virginity this way, but trust me you'll find way better and soon you can forget about this loser.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

What should you do? Hold your head up high and feel proud of yourself for punching this asshole, his kind of behaviour is enough to give anyone anger issues.

Don't feel embarrassed or think that you have in anyway done anything wrong because you haven't, if I were you I'd make sure every girl you know and every girl they know, knows what kind of sleazy fool this guy is and how he treats women. If that happened to me I'd make his life living hell but that would not be the best way of going about it.

I disagree rhythmandblues2 having sex at a young age doesn't have anything to do with why this happened, people can be used no matter how old they are.

Chalk this down as a lesson learned, just make sure you don't let this shake your confidence or ruin your ability to trust guys, we're not all assholes that will say anything just to get you into the sack.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

Well, hmm you have to figure out if he really does like you or not, you know what, something that started out as a bet can be real, and at least the actual relationship wasn't started on a bet! Just the sex, i'm sorry your boyfriend did that, but i hope that if he does really care for you, he will apologize and sort your head out :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

This is a classic example of having sex at a young age (17 is young)because more often than not the boy is using the girl. Boy/men will say anything, anything to get sex including "I love you". And then they quickly lose respect for the girl and brag to all of their male friends that they nailed you. It is unfair and immature on his part, but for you I hope you learned a lesson about why it is important to wait until you are more grown up and in a serious commited love relationship where friendship is the solid basis for the relationship to begin with and it has a future and goals and trust and time all built into it.

I am sorry that you were hurt. You don't sound like you have anger problems, your anger is very understandable here. What you should do is to stop having anything to do with this boy and his friends and go on with your life and learn what guys of this age group are typically after and focus more on yourself and who you are and what you want out of life instead of worrying about getting and keeping a boyfriend. Have fun, but respect yourself enough to not give yourself away too easily.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I live in bc if that helps

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