A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:should a woman decide to marry a man who loves her with all his heart and soul(and waited for the last 12 years) but she still doesn’t ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (28 July 2009):
 I have to say that without more information it is hard to comment apart from you can't make someone love you. I can totally agree with Ginalolabridga's comments, she has given you good sound advice and she is a very good aunt with a brilliant reputation on this site.
No matter how strong their feelings are for you, you can't wave a magic wand and just because they love you with their whole body and soul, if the sparks are not there then it is pretty unlikely that they ever will be.
Yes love can sometimes grow, I realise that but I think to enter into marriage without having those feelings - it is asking for trouble. Marriage should come about because two people love one another so much and they want to show their commitment to one another by getting married. It would be so much worse if you ended up having a child to try and patch over the cracks in a relationship, as that child would not be born out of love but rather out of a sense of guilt and the fact that he has waited for you for 12 years.
Some people long for someone there whole lives but they have to sit back and watch the one they love marry other people and settle down with them, see them get divorced and move onto other new people.
Like I say you cannot make love happen, it is either there or it is not. Leading someone up the garden path because you feel guilty that they have put their lives on hold is not your responsibility, they chose to do that NOT YOU.
It is much less painful to be honest than to live a lie.
BFN
Country Woman
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