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He loves me but doesn't trust me! How do I gain his trust?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Im going out with someone and we have recently just told each other that we love each other. The thing is though he cant trust me, how do i gain his trust?

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (31 January 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntDid he told you directly or is it your perceptions only?

Can you accept a guy who comes and say to you , I love you but I don't trust you ? That is a queer way to express one's love.

Trust can only be gained through time. You will try not to do those things which he dislikes. Know what are his likes and dislikes and try to follow them as best as you can.

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

anon_e_mouse agony aunt"Im going out with someone and we have recently just told each other that we love each other. The thing is though he cant trust me, how do i gain his trust?"

Well is there anything you've said or done for him NOT to trust you I suppose is the question? Do you flirt with other boys? Are you "officially" boyfriend/girlfriend?

If you haven't done/said anything for him to NOT trust you perhaps he's never been in love before and frightened he'll lose you? Maybe he thinks you're too good for him? In which case you might just need to reassure him and show him you love him and want to be with HIM and no-one else.

There's no indication as to how long you two have been together but I think everyone goes through that stage when they've met someone special and feel a bit insecure and jealous. After a while, not long, this will settle down and he'll be more secure and comfortable UNLESS of course one of you breaks that trust.

I agree with randomguy when he says "If you love someone. You trust that person. There's no relationship without trust". However, there is more to it than this.

Again, I agree in part with rcn when he says; "One main ingredient to a healthy relationship is trust". However, I don't agree with this part: "Tell him if he doesn't trust you, then he really doesn't love you". Perhaps he's been cheated on before? Maybe he loves you so much he's scared of losing you to someone he sees as better than himself?

There really could be loads of reasons and at the end of the day you'll need to employ another essential part of any relationship - YOU NEED TO TALK TO EACH OTHER ABOUT IT.

Perhaps you could say to him you get the feeling he doesn't trust you and ask him why? Is he worried you'll run off with someone else he thinks is better than himself? If so reassure him and tell him you're only interested in him.

WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO OR SAY YOU BOTH DEFINITELY NEED TO TALK.

Best of luck :)

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A female reader, Omerta United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

Omerta agony auntFirst of all, does he have any reason not to trust you? Maybe he has some self esteem issues that he needs to work through. I am the same with my boyfriend because he still keeps in touch with his ex girlfriends and has lots of girly mates so i'm always wondering but there comes a point where you just have to be confident. I'm afriad you can't make someone trust you but just make sure they know how you feel about them and if there is still a trust issue then you really need to address it because it will eventually make the relationship turn sour :/

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A male reader, chlez83 Zambia +, writes (2 January 2008):

There three things that hold a relationship.Love,Trust and Communication.If he can't trust you,then you two won't go far.If you really want it to work,find out why he doesn't trust you then work on it.If it's something you can't change,it's better you go your seperate ways.I just did that on new year's day.

Good luck.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (2 January 2008):

rcn agony auntTell him if he doesn't trust you, then he really doesn't love you. If you haven't given him a reason not to trust you than his behavior needs to change. One main ingredient to a healthy relationship is trust.

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A male reader, randomguy United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

randomguy agony auntIf you love someone. You trust that person.

There's no relationship without trust.

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