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female
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anonymous
writes: pls help me. my bf of 1 yr broke up with me more than 2 months ago. he gave me many reasons, like he was busy with his studies in uni, i was too demanding etc. after breaking up he would still call me 4 times a wk and we would bump into each other or talk personally 3 days a week. whenever we see each other we're just so sweet and acting like a couple.he wants to have sex with me this weekend and i said no, because i wanted us to get back together first. but he said "he doesn't want a relationship yet, we're only 18, we cn have that again a few yrs from now when we're less busy". but he insists on us having sex, he said he's not seeing anyone else nor having sex with anyone else, its just me he wants to have sex with. its tempting cuz he's really hot and i might give in, but i really want a relationship with him.what should i do? he says he loves me but just doesnt want a relationship yet. he always invites me over for sex and its hard to say no. what should i do when he loves me and im the only one but he isnt ready for a relationship yet again? we've been together for 1 yr already! and bestfriends for 3 yrs before that.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 November 2006):
 He's just using you, don't let him. If he truly cares about you then he would be in a permanent relationship with you, "busy" or not. Don't be his booty call. Keep your standards high and you'll have his respect which is much more valuable than just his momentary lust.
A
female
reader, Lemonpixie +, writes (2 November 2006):
 Don't sell yourself short... if it's a relationship you want, than thats what you should get, if he refuses find someone else! It seems as though he wants all the "good stuff" without the responsibilities. If you give in you may be heading in a bad direction. If he get interested in another girl and you get angry he will brush off and use an excuse such as: we are officially dating anymore so you cant get mad. If both parties knew and accepted this situation that is one thing but obviously you love him, and love doesn't fit in this kind of relationship. I suggest telling him that if he thinks this arrangement makes it ok to see other women than there is no way you'll do this... Lay down stipulations if he refuses than find someone who wants to take care of you like a boyfriend should... you deserve that much!
Take Care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): It's simple. Don't have sex with him!!! As long as you go along with what he wants, then he will never consider what you want a relationship. Yes he's hot, yes you'd love to sleep with him but he only wants you for sex.He has told you he doesn't want a relationship. If you're happy with going along with this then fine. But beware, if he should meet up with anyone else and sleep with them he will turn around and say 'Well we're not in a relationship!' How is that going to make you feel? Respect yourself girl and let him learn to respect you. So many men try this out on girls who they know are mad about them. Don't have sex with him, men see sex as just sex, but us girls get emotionally involved, you will only end up getting hurt. Many of us girls sleep with guys thinking it's what they want and that they will give us the relationship we want. But it never works out like that.
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