A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend had been together 19 months when he decided to end it. I asked him for the reason and he said that his feeling have just changed. He loves me and cares about me but isnt in love with me anymore and hates himself for it. I also asked if there was anyone else that he liked and he said no. I do believe he is telling the truth here. He doesnt know what he wants anymore and this leaves me in an arkward situation. I still love him a month after the split. Whats anoying me is that i dont know if he will change his mind and want to be with me again. Im so confused. I dont know if i should just try and be nice to him and be his friend or to not talk to him for a while =SIts just so hard seeing him at the moment, i want to go and hug but at the same time im so annoyed with the way he ended it so randomly. I just need advice. Any would be appreciated thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): Dont allow this guy to use your life as a revolving door for himself..either he loves you enough to want to commit to you or he doesn't.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for the advice and i have been trying to move on. Yesterday though he came to my door and told me he had made a mistake =S He wants me back. Oviously i dont want to just say yeah cause i want you back so i told him i needed to think about it first. Im seeing him monday and i dont know if i should tell him that we will see how it goes then or to leave it longer? Make him wait a bit?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): I agree with Miamine unfortunately. I believe your relationship is over. You don't deserve to sit and wait around for him especially since he most likely isn't coming back. Be his friend if that's what you want but don't torment yourself by hoping he'll come back and waiting around for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): I don't know about this "Love" and "in love" stuff...to me either you love a person or you don't. God did not create "in love" only love...there is a love that you have for your friend, a love you have for your family and a love you have for your boy friend or husband. I also think ppl confuse feelings of caring, anxiety, the fear of losing or missing out, for love. There is no in between with me..either a person loves me or they don't and I don't think your ex loved you. He maybe have had fond feelings for you, but not love. If you treated him well, and if he was "in love" he wouldn't have ended the relationship.
He may have not ended it with you to be with someone else, but you are a smart woman, so you know he is going to date others....don't go hugging him, kissing him or contacting him. Just let him be. Get therapy, read relationship books, pray to God, and don't allow him to use your life as a revolving door. Believe me, I know how it feels to really love someone and have them break your heart.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (18 July 2010):
 He is being truthfull.. He loves you like a friend, like a sister, but he dosen't see you as a girlfriend or a romantic partner anymore. No it is not worth waiting for him, he will not come back, he dosen't feel the same feelings that he once had.
You must move on with your life and find someone else. This is not the man you will marry or settle down with. He's not joking, the romantic relationship is finished for good.
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