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He likes me, but doesn't want his family/friends to know he likes fat girls?

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 May 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *atinaBBW21 writes:

I've been dating this guy for 6 months now and he doesn't want to introduce me to his friends or family. When I asked him why I havent met his family yet he said it is because I'm fat and he's not sure if they would approve. I've been ignoring him all this week. Should I give him a second chance?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008):

I think she said it right Tasteoflinda said it right exactly how i would have.

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A female reader, Cuddlybear United Kingdom +, writes (7 May 2008):

Cuddlybear agony auntwhat a load of crap!

i'm fat. & I hate it. & i hate it hwen I get called fat. Why would you let a love one treat you this way??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

As im sure you wont let me come round and teach him better, I suggest you DUMP YOUR PAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and find someone who deserves you :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

As a plus-sized woman myself, I HIGHLY recommend that you dump him with a quickness.

There are a lot of jerks like that... they will go to bed with you, but actually bringing you out in the light of day amongst people, why that is just unthinkable! Which is basically their way of saying you're good to enough to fuck, but not good enough to be treated like a human being. You're just his dirty little secret, in his head. Its a complete and utter lack of respect for you.

Screw that and screw him. There are MANY men out in the world that love a big woman and have no problem taking her anywhere and showing her off to his friends and family. Google "BBW" (I see by your name you know what those initials mean... just make sure your "adult" filter is on) and you'll find various groups, parties, etc. for big women and the men who love us.

He's not sure his family and friends would approve of you? That's rich... Let me tell you, if this is how he is now, it does not get any better in the future. Because him saying that pretty much shows that he feels that just because your plus-sized you'll put up with any bullshit he throws at you and you'll be happy to take it because since, as a fat girl, you can't do any better than him, right?

Show him wrong... dump him, find someone better who treats you like a woman worthy of love and respect, and when he sees you later on down the line with your new man whose treating you like the queen you are, he'll see he missed out on a damn good woman. Trust me on this... I've been where you are.

Ok, rant over. This is just one of my sore spots.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

Dont give this loser a second chance.

I really really doubt hes hiding you cuz your fat, its his lame excuse to telly ou that so you feel shamed and dont push it furthur. Hes hiding something else, probably another girl.

If he is really shallow enough to think your weight is a problem, then you can do SOOO much better.

Find someone who loves you for YOU not because they want some dumb bimbo model to make other people jelous or whatever!

#Big hug babe, youll find someone who will see you for the beautiful and sexy woman that yuo are!!!

xxx

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (7 May 2008):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntpeople sometimes hide a girlfriend because they already have one...

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A female reader, SpicySweet United States +, writes (7 May 2008):

SpicySweet agony auntARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME?

Dump the ******* who needs confirmation from other people to love you. If he loves you, he's going to accept you no matter what ANYONE says...darling, don't you want TRUE LOVE? That is not true love. That is pure ******** and he doesn't deserve you. Go find a real man who doesn't need anyone's approval for him to actually respect you. Think of your closest girl friend, or mom, dad, or sibling. Would they ever treat you like that? No, that is real love. A friend who loves you for who you are no matter what you look like and doesn't care if the world sees you together, they are just happy with you. Please believe in that kind of love and don't settle for less!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (7 May 2008):

TasteofIndia agony auntOkay, honestly... it depends how he said it. If he said something like, totally awkwardly, tried to be nice, didn't work out... if your relationship has been successful and happy and pure of issues, disagreements and all...

I would then say that your boyfriend is a major idiot, but perhaps you can give him a second chance after you ream him out for his callous insensitivity. That's only if he's blowing up your phone with sincere apologies for his moronic behavior.

But if he just up and said you're fat, well - he's a douche bag and I say ditch the loser. Why is he "hiding" you from his family, when he should be proud of you and showing you off whenever he gets the chance. Girl, you deserve better than this cretin.

xx India

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