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He liked me, but I realised my feelings for him too late and he has already given up on me!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 June 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *eap0fFaith writes:

So theres this guy, who liked me for a whole year before I ever even took notice to him. I didnt really think anything of him, I didnt think he was ugly but I didnt fall head over heels for him either.

(A little bit of info on me: Ive never really been in a relationship before. Ive never dated anyone or kissed anyone or anything. Ive liked people before, but its only been crushes.)

So after a whole year passes, me and this guy have been talking a little more, and eventually it festers into best friends. This guy is so much different than any other guy I know. I feel like he really gets me, like we really just connect. And he can make truly laugh. Laugh deep down to the core of my soul, to the point where I dont want to be anywhere else. No where else sounds better. When im with him, I can let my guard down and not worry about anyone or anything around me. Reality is better than my dreams.

I realize... Im in love with him. I didnt recoqnize it right away, because I always thought of love as an instant feeling of insane butterflies. All ive ever known is what a crush feels like. But this is so much better.

Heres the problem. I realized my true feelings for him a little too late. One day, completely unexpectedly, he just stopped talking to me. Completely shut me out like I was no longer living on this planet. I think he gave up on me. I tried fixing things with him, but I only made things worse. I yelled at him and said some really terrible things. He said that he "cant be just friends with someone he really likes" And thats it. Now 6 months later, he says "He saw me for what I really am" His sister tells me Im looking pathetic because he just doesnt like me anymore and That I need to stop trying.

But the thing is, I love him. I said so many mean things to him tho, because I was confused on to why he quit talking to me. I know now, but its a little late. I cant take back anything I said.

My question to you is, do you think there will ever be an end to this, a solution somehow? I dont think I deserve to tell him my feelings because I dont know if he can forgive me for being so mean. (which he shouldnt) but I just figure if we both love each other, we should be together. Do you have any advice at all for this terrible dilemma I got myself into? Thanks so much!

View related questions: best friend, crush

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A female reader, Leap0fFaith United States +, writes (22 June 2012):

Leap0fFaith is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@justmen

You see, he couldnt take it anymore being 'just friends' with someone he was in love with. And I totally get why he did it. He thinks I dont like him like that, but see I do. I said mean things after he already left. I was trying to fix things, but actually made them worse.

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A female reader, justmen United States +, writes (21 June 2012):

justmen agony auntThis story doesn't make any sense. You say you've kept your feelings hidden yet it's him that one day walks away and stops talking to you out of frustration that he can't just be friends with you?!?!?! Huh?!?! You say that he should not forgive you for harsh words. If he cares for you he should forgive you. If everyone on the planet disowned everyone else when harsh words are spoken when arguments arise, we'd all be single. Tell him how you feel. If he cares he will forgive and forget and you can rebuild your relationship with feelings in the open.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (21 June 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntSorry but I'm afraid you will just have to back off and see if somewhere down the line he decides to come back. If you try any further you will indeed look pathetic and needy. Get busy with your life and other friends and perhaps this terrible dilemma will fade away.

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