A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my husband went out with the guy fora night i asked him to promise that he wouldnt get a lap dance but he did hetold me the nexted morning then he sware on our kids life there was noting out but i had this feeling and question him some more then he told me about taking a shot out of a strip undies now i wouldn't have been that pissed if he would have came out about it but lye then swear on our kids life. how do you trust him again????????????
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Heres a question: If this was a naked girl at a party grinding on your husband would people still say your over reacting?? Just because its a stripper does not mean its okay. Thats like saying having sex with a prostitute is not cheating because they are a prostitute! So i really dont thinkyou are over reacting. He was honest with you however in the end and maybe he really didnt know how you felt about this situation. Some couples are okay with this sort of stuff. Maybe he swore on his kids lives that nothing more happened because he really didnt believe the whole shot thing was a big deal.
A
female
reader, ohio  +, writes (16 July 2010):
 I think here the initial point is not you're being jealous of him but losing your trust to him. As others have told, I also think that you over reacted, however the point is he lied to you. But do you think that it is one sided? If you gave the impression that you wouldn't complain and cause this situation to ruin your relationship, he would probably tell the truth, even you two would make fun of it. However, you wanted to hear the thing you want and made him do that. So, if you do not want him to lie again, just have some empathy and tell him that you're really sorry when he tells lies. This will be a matter of conscience and he will not tell lies that easily.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): I disagree with some of the other responses. I would seriously consider leaving my husband for this behaviour. Men do not have a biologically based need for lap dances, as they really aren't a significant part of our evolutionary history. Some say "boys will be boys", but I married a man, and I expect him to behave like a married man. I respect the decision of other women to be ok with this behaviour, but I feel that it is infidelity (not as bad a sex, but not too far off either). She may be a professional, but he did this for enjoyment. You are not in a relationship with her, so her motives don't matter, his do. You told him that this wasn't acceptable, but he did it anyway. Then he lied. He will likely do the same thing if other sexual activities are offered up in the future. I would either leave or go to counseling. You have now been warned that he doesn't think that your feelings are a good enough reason to not engage in an activity. React accordingly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Talk about OVER-REACTING, his a bloke and i think you taking it to much to heart. He was just having a boys night out the more worrying thing is that he felt the need to hide it from you.
If he couldnt tell you something so small. Does that mean he'll hide the big things from you too
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): I think you are over reacting. He said that so he wouldn't have to hear you go on and on complaining. It sounds like he doesn't go out to strip clubs on a regular basis. Stop being so jealous. After all, he came back home to you. Strip clubs are just a form of entertainment. Why don't you go with him one night and see for yourself. My wife and I go just to laugh at all the drunks throwing their money away. We even point drunk guys out to the strippers. Its hilarious! My wife always had jealousy issues when it came to strip clubs until she saw it for herself. Trust me when I tell you that those girls don't want your man they just want to make money.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 July 2010):
To lie about the strip club is one thing. For him to swear on the life of his children is another. I would have him on his knees begging for forgiveness for that one. I'm afraid from now on, this guy has to be totally open. There can be no secrets, no passwords, no nothing. And the guy's nights out just finished as well, because now he has to work on his relationship with you instead. Be very, VERY angry at him for this, because to lie and swear on your kid's life is lousy. You get to play God now, while he gets to do everything you want him to. Anything else, and maybe he's just not that great.
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