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He left me for his mistress

Tagged as: Cheating, Faded love, Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, *tazy3 writes:

Ok i took my husband back after we lived with his mistress for 4months

he came back for only 2 and a half months then told me he wasn't in love with me and he was in love with his mistress. She lives 1400 miles away

we have two kids. Who he says he will be close to in the future. He is over with is mistress and I'm so in love with him I would do anything to get him to love me again. He won't talk or text me since he left. And it hurts . I know I need to get a divorce and move on but I hope he finds love and comes back. Does anyone think he will or should I just give up?

View related questions: divorce, mistress, move on, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012):

STOP being emotional hun!!!

As hard as it is, no matter how devastated you are, no matter whether your heart is ripped open, YOU need to look at your situation realistically.

Why bother with a man who cheated. Hes with his mistress. Hes made his choice. Accept it. And move forward, one day at a time.

You owe it to yourself to heal.

You owe it to yourself to function without him again.

Do you have kids?

Mortgage bond?

Joint bills?

Well send him an email(?) Telling him you need financial assistance for the above. TALK about divorce. Dont be foolish and remain married: this makes it too easy for him. Make a complete break from him. Divorce. This is the only alternative.

Yes you are all cried out for now but cry again. Blow your nose. Wash your pretty face. Apply a tad bit of makeup. Smile through your tears. Go out and conquer your world!!!! Start believing in yourself.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (6 June 2012):

Honeygirl agony auntSorry that you are going thru this.

Firstly go NO CONTACT with your husband, stop calling him, texting him in other words act like he doesnt exist. If there is an issue with one of the children, text him a short message. No "I love you's".

Show him that he is welcome to his new mistress. Get yourself to a lawyer and start proceedings against him, he owes you child support. Your husband is living in a fantasy world and by begging him to come home is boosting his ego!!

If the mistress has a bf/husband - make sure you tell them about the affair. Because once the affair is out in the open, it then becomes no so exciting...!

Please PM me if you would like to chat more.

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A female reader, In.love.with.him United States +, writes (6 June 2012):

In.love.with.him agony auntIt's all in the heart. We love people and they hurt us or they don't love us back. Think of it like this he left you and your kids saying he will be close with them SOMEDAY. Well that goes to show he'd pick a woman over his kids, it's one thing leaving your wife sorry but your children are another. Make it on your own and build the courage up to know that you are stronger than this. Show your children love and support them raise them well and find peace and love within yourself. Also never doubt yourself you have it in you to get over this guy.

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntIf he doesn't love you he probably wouldn't be willing to go to couples counseling. It sounds like he just wants out. You can't fight that. However painful it is, you will have to let go. But who says you have to file for divorce? You could put the burden on him. If he makes outrageous demands in his divorce papers, you can simply contest them until you both reach an agreement about what's fair. Of course you will continue to keep hoping for a change and unless God gives you a miracle you could be waiting in vain. The choice is yours. If you're not in a rush, give it a little more time. But expect the worst. It sounds more like he's trying to reconcile with the mistress.

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